In My Life
by Kelly of the midnight dawn
Summary: Discovery, Loss, Fear, Sorrow, a new love begins to blossum and an old flame resurfaces. EO I'll tell you that right now so you don't all kill me LOL. Please read and review ch 1 contains some sex.
1. Chapter 1: What are we?

**In My Life **

**Chapter 1: What are we?**

**Disclaimer: Oh How I wish they were but unfortunately they are not.**

**A/N: I would like to dedicate this story to Kay for talking me through one of my lowest points and convincing me that my writing is worthwhile. Thanks Kay for being a true friend.**

**A/N: The song is "In My Life" by the Beatles. The lyrics only appear in full in the first chapter but I think that it makes sense to name the story after the song.**

Olivia leaned her head against her hand. After five and a half hours of straight paperwork she was ready to call it a night. Elliot had been in court all day and Munch and Fin had been out doing interviews. After she had processed a few crime scenes she had been back to the monotonous paperwork.

It was seven forty five and she was starving. She pushed out her chair and collected some files to take home with her. She could work on them later she thought. She stood up and started walking towards the door. She was just reaching for the handle to pull the door open when someone burst through from the other side. Olivia was thrown off balance and toppled to the ground, the files that she had in her hands scattering in every direction.

The person stopped immediately and bent down to help her up "Sorry Liv," he said hurriedly as he pulled her to her feet.

Olivia found herself staring into Elliot's eyes. Somehow she found herself swept off her feet once more "…Wow," she said breathlessly.

Elliot smiled back at her "Are you okay?" he asked. He saw the way she was looking at him and he couldn't help being captivated by it.

"Uh…uh…" she stuttered for a moment "I'm fine," she tried to laugh off her previous inability to say anything. An awkward silence fell between the two and Olivia searched for something to end it. Finally she remembered the files and turned her attention to them, bending down to gather them up.

Elliot bent down to help her "So," he began "heading out?"

She slid some papers that had fallen out of the folders back into their proper places as she answered him "Yeah thought I'd go home and get something to eat and maybe get some sleep for once."

Elliot laughed "No hot date?" he inquired skeptically.

Olivia gave a quick jerk of her head and a short laugh "Not in months," she said somewhat regretfully. She finished gathering up the files and stood up.

Elliot stood up as well and reached a hand out to her "You wanna go grab dinner?" he asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"Sure," she answered with a smile. She didn't quite understand why he had asked but she was sure she could con him into paying for the meal so she gladly accepted. She walked to her locker and grabbed her bag, shoving the files inside so that she could avoid any future mishaps such as the earlier incident with Elliot and the two of them walked to the pizza place down the street from the precinct.

"Pizza?" Elliot asked a bit surprised. A restaurant hadn't even been discussed; he was just following Olivia like a lost puppy.

"Why not?" Olivia asked him as they walked inside the small family owned establishment "I haven't had pizza in a long time," she smiled at him as she took a seat in a booth.

He shrugged and sat across from her. The truth was that when it was his weekend with the kids, all they wanted to eat was pizza. He was getting kind of sick of it himself but he wasn't going to tell her that.

The waitress came up to them and smiled "Hi," she said "What can I get for you this evening?"

Olivia looked down briefly at the menu that was printed on her paper placemat. She looked back up at the smiling young woman "I'll have a slice of sausage and mushroom and a diet coke please," she informed her.

Elliot took a little longer to decide than Olivia had. He wasn't sure he wanted pizza but that seemed to be all they had. He finally spotted something he liked and looked up at the waitress with a smile "I'll have a slice of peppers and broccoli please and a diet coke."

"I'll be right back," the waitress told them as she rushed off to get their food.

Olivia leaned her head to one side and stared at Elliot long and hard "Broccoli," she finally said quizzically "I never thought of you as the type."

"There's a type that like broccoli on pizza?" he asked, giving her his own quizzical look.

"Well…" Olivia started to say something but realized that there was nothing she really could say "I guess there isn't a type but still, broccoli?"

"What's wrong with broccoli?" Elliot asked "It's just a vegetable."

"But it tastes like… like…" Olivia tried to come up with the correct word.

"Like broccoli," Elliot said firmly "What are you, twelve?"

"No," she defended herself "I just don't like broccoli," she put both elbows on the table and rested her chin between the palms of her upturned hands.

"And I don't like mushrooms," Elliot informed her "but am I chastising you for your choice of pizza topping?" he laughed.

"Okay, okay," Olivia conceded. She reached a hand across the table towards him "Truce?" she asked, jutting out her lower lip and giving him puppy dog eyes.

Elliot couldn't help the fit of laughter that escaped him at seeing his partner pouting. He reached out and shook her hand "Truce," he said with a smile just as the waitress returned with their food.

The two were hungrier than either probably would have admitted because with in five minutes they had each polished off there slice of pizza and were slowly sipping down their diet cokes. Somewhere in the back of the restaurant the sounds of dishes being washed could be heard. A radio was playing soft jazz music which seemed completely unusual for a pizza place. Olivia found herself swaying slightly in her seat to the music.

"Do you want to dance?" Elliot asked, noticing the dreamy look on her face.

"Here?" Olivia didn't think that it was appropriate to dance in a restaurant like this. There was no dance floor, just an aisle that separated two rows of booths.

"Why not?" Elliot asked as he stood up and reached a hand out to her.

She hesitantly took the hand and stood up "I feel foolish," she told him in a soft voice.

Elliot flashed her a reassuring smile "Who's gonna see?" he gestured around the empty restaurant. The waitress stood behind the cash register near the door but other than that and the noises from the kitchen there was not a soul around.

Olivia nodded and Elliot led her to the center of the aisle. He wrapped his arms around her as they began to move gently in time to the music. Olivia couldn't believe how safe it felt to be with Elliot. It was such a comforting feeling to have his arms around her. She felt like everything was right in the world, that everything was right in her life. Sorrow disappeared from her vocabulary in the time that they spent dancing. She smiled softly into his shoulder as the song ended and another began.

It felt so right to Elliot that he was dancing with Olivia. Like this was what he was meant to do all his life, to hold her, to keep her safe. He could smell her hair from where his chin rested on top of her head. It smelled like flowers and vanilla and all the things good in life to him. He was sorry when the slow jazz song came to an end but the next song was slow as well which meant that he could still sway gently with Olivia in his arms so he didn't care.

It was a Beatles song that they both recognized instantly. Olivia began to hum quietly as they continued to dance.

_**There are places I'll remember **_

_**All my life though some have changed**_

_**Some forever not for better**_

_**Some have gone and some remain**_

_**All these places have their moments**_

_**With lovers and friends I still can recall**_

_**Some are dead and some are living**_

_**In my life I've loved them all**_

Olivia separated from Elliot just far enough that she could look at him "What are we doing Elliot?" she asked, her voice low and full of emotions that she wasn't even aware of at that moment.

He looked back at her and answered simply "We're dancing Olivia," he smiled and pulled her closer to him as the song continued though Olivia had stopped humming by this point.

_**But of all these friends and lovers**_

_**There is no one compares with you**_

_**And these memories lose their meaning**_

_**When I think of love as something new**_

_**Though I know I'll never lose affection**_

_**For people and things that went before**_

_**I know I'll often stop and think about them**_

_**In my life I love you more**_

"What are we Elliot?" Olivia asked, not moving from where she rested against Elliot's shoulder. She knew what they had been but were they still just partners, still just friends or were they now something different, something more?

Elliot had no idea how to answer that question. What they were at that moment in each other's arms was something that he couldn't explain. It went beyond partners beyond simple friendship. Could it be possible? Was it… were they…?

_**Though I know I'll never lose affection**_

**_For people and things that went before_**

_**I know I'll often stop and think about them**_

_**In my life I love you more**_

_**In my life I love you more**_

The song ended and Olivia pulled away from Elliot completely "What are we?" she asked again. In her eyes could be seen a veil of tears that she wouldn't allow to fall, not in front of this man, not in front of anyone. She walked back to their table and picked up her bag. She fumbled through it for a moment before pulling out her wallet. She pulled out ten dollars and turned to Elliot. In light of certain feelings she was having at this moment she didn't feel that it was right to have dinner be his treat. She wasn't sure why but that was how she felt. She forced the money into his hand "Here," she said softly, still trying to hold back the tears.

"No," Elliot waved his hand dismissively, indicating that she should keep her money "My treat, keep it."

"Just take it Elliot," she told him, throwing the money in his face before running out of the restaurant.

"Olivia!" Elliot called after her. He was about to run out the door when he remembered that he hadn't paid yet. He turned back to the waitress who stood behind the cash register.

She waved him off "Go," she told him simply "It's on me this time," she had seen the way the two interacted and knew that something important was happening.

Elliot nodded his thanks and ran after Olivia.

Olivia ran down the street back to the precinct; her car was still in the parking lot there. She heard Elliot calling out to her from about a block away but she ignored him. She couldn't fight the tears anymore and all she wanted to do was get home.

She reached her car and unlocked it. She opened the door and was about to get in when Elliot reached her. He stood next to her, obviously having pushed his body to the limit in order to catch up with her. She looked up at him, too tired of this back and forth to hide the tears that still slid down her face.

"Olivia," he said gently as he reached out to her.

She pulled back just slightly "You never answered me Elliot," she found herself staring into his eyes once more. A sea of forgiving, comforting blue that she could lose herself in but she couldn't afford to get lost not without someone to find her again "So I'll ask you one last time," the tears kept falling as she spoke "What are we?"

"How can I answer that?" he said quietly "You're you, I'm me that's the way it always has been."

"You don't feel like…?" she trailed off, afraid of the answer.

"Like something's changed between us," he finished her sentence "That we're somehow closer and you're scared to death of it because you feel like if we pursue it that we'll…"

"Lose everything that we already have," she finished his sentence, placing a hand on the side of his face "and that's the last thing you want to do because…"

"Over the years," he continued "its something you've come to depend on," he wrapped his arms around her.

Olivia pulled him closer still and kissed him. Deeply, furiously, the first kiss between the two treated by her as if it could be the last. He kissed her back with equal fervor and together they stood tongues exploring on the inside as hands found the backs of necks and crawled there way up the fronts of shirts. It seemed like an eternity when they separated briefly for air before their mouths frantically sought each other once more.

They finally separated only to have Elliot begin trailing soft and gentle kisses along her jaw. She moaned contentedly as both of her hands ran along his muscular chest underneath his dress shirt. She became frustrated with his shirt and began to unbutton it.

Some semblance of sanity seemed to return to Elliot and he paused just at her earlobe "Not here," he said breathlessly.

She nodded and opened the door to the back seat and crawled in, pulling him in after her. Their lips found each other once more in a passionate frenzy. Both pairs of hands began to fumble with clothes. Olivia got Elliot's shirt off first; it was a dress shirt and slid quickly off his shoulders.

Even as he slid Olivia's shirt over her head something in the back of his mind was trying to remind him that the back seat of a car was not the place for this, that there had been a time long ago where a moment of passion in the back seat of a car had ended badly. But she was so beautiful in the light of the setting summer sun. He couldn't help himself as he started work on her bra.

Her hands roamed his body, feeling his muscles quiver under her touch as she lay beneath him. Her hands made their way to the hem of his slacks and she began to free him of his pants. She managed to push the down as far as his knees and he took them off the rest of the way. She was about to start on his boxers when she took in a sharp breath. He had taken one of her nipples into his mouth and was running his tongue around it in a counterclockwise motion. He was bringing her to the edge of climax and she wasn't even fully undressed yet "El," she moaned in ecstasy. Her hands groped for something to grip and they finally settled on Elliot's firm rear end.

This action made him gasp and made his desire for her even stronger. He released her nipple, supporting his weight above her with one hand as he fumbled with the buttons of her jeans with the other.

Olivia took this opportunity to attempt the removal of the boxers again. This time she was successful and soon they both were naked in the back seat of Olivia's car, their clothes lying forgotten on the floor.

His erection was already rock hard as he lay on top of her. She reached down and carefully guided him inside her. He looked into her eyes and saw that they were dark with desire. He took that as his cue and began to move gently inside her. She began to move with him slowly at first but as they found there rhythm the pace quickened. The two were breathless as they moved ever quicker, becoming hopelessly tangled in the other's body. Olivia felt herself drawing closer and closer to the edge. She could see it in Elliot's face, he was too. She felt him plunge deeper within her and she grabbed his butt tighter to help him. She knew the moment was near for both of them and the sudden fear of being caught only increased her excitement. But she couldn't let them both scream out at the point of climax. She reached up and brought his face down to hers. Both screamed into each other's mouths as they came.

The orgasm was the most powerful that Olivia had ever experienced and its aftershocks wracked her body for several minutes after the initial wave. They lay together, sweaty and panting but neither cared. They were the most gorgeous thing the other had ever seen. As they lay together Olivia once more began to run her fingers across Elliot's muscles. This time though it was a much slower caress not as frantic as the first time but no less arousing to Elliot.

He looked down at her face, flush with passion in the waning light. He began to kiss her again and was surprised when she sat up, pulling him flush against her so that he felt her peeked nipples against his chest.

She wanted him, needed him, needed to feel him against her the fear that this was just another beautiful dream that could end at any second was so prevalent in her mind that it was hard to think of much else. She reached her hand down and began to stroke his penis gently hoping to bring him back for round two only to find that he was already standing at attention. She wrapped her legs around his waist and somewhat awkwardly because of the limited space in the back of the car, they began again.

This time he moved slowly inside her, taunting her, teasing her with the promise of an orgasm. She tried to force him to move faster with her own movement but still he moved painfully slow. He grinned at her in what little daylight remained. Without breaking their connection she forced him onto his back making her the dominant player. This time when they reached the edge they both called out each other's names into the atmosphere.

Olivia collapsed on top of Elliot after the latest orgasm ripped through her. He held her close to him and breathed in her scent. She smelled different after sex. It was an animalistic scent that was strangely arousing to him. The darkness fell around them as they lay there in the back of her car, just being with one another was intoxicating and neither one wanted to spoil the moment.

Finally Olivia sat up and pulled her shirt over her head "We can't stay here all night," she said regretfully as she searched for the rest of her clothes.

Elliot too sat up and began to pull his clothes on. Because of the cramped back seat, Olivia was sitting in his lap and he couldn't help but kiss her once more. The two got dressed in silence. Neither one saying a word to confirm or deny the feeling that had been expressed while they were in passion's powerful grip.

When Elliot finished putting on his clothes he simply moved to sit in the passenger's side seat of the car, an arrogant move that Olivia willingly accepted from him as she took the driver's seat and started the car. Without a word said between them they ended up back at Olivia's place.

They reached her building and she pulled into the parking garage. The two got out of the car. Elliot came around to the driver's side. She was so beautiful and he loved her so much. Every second without her in his arms was an eternity of loneliness no matter how pathetic it sounded. He enveloped her in his arms and kissed her with as much passion as that first kiss only an hour before.

She moaned out of pure exaltation as she kissed him back with the same energy and hunger he was kissing her with. Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck and roamed through his short hair as she used this leverage to deepen the kiss.

"You wanna try for round three?" he murmured into her mouth. She moaned in response, simply leaning further back against the car and allowing him to undo her jeans. In seconds round three had begun. It was as if they both thought they had a lot of catching up to do after admiring one another from afar for so long.

Olivia reveled in the new sensation of having him move within her while she was upright. She wound her legs around his waist and enjoyed the moment. When the orgasm came she bit down on her lower lip to keep herself from screaming out in ecstasy once again.

The two finished and stood facing one another. Olivia pushed the hair out of her eyes and turned away from Elliot "Wow," she murmured. What they had just done was enormous, the consequences were immense. She started to walk away when she felt Elliot's hand on her arm. She turned to face him and was relieved to see that the lust had faded from his eyes; she didn't think she could handle a round four.

"Olivia?" he asked softly as he turned her to face him.

She gave a small nod as he spoke. She still found it hard not to get lost in those eyes of his. She knew how she felt about him and she wanted what had just happened to mean that he felt the same way but she found herself to nervous to ask.

"Are you alright?" he asked. He kept his distance, unsure if he had crossed a line all the way back at round one, if this was truly what she wanted. He knew he wanted her but he wasn't sure how. He knew that their bond went deeper than simple physical attraction; he cared very deeply for her. He in fact loved her and having sex three times in and up against her car wasn't the best way of expressing that to her.

"I just…" she began. She found herself being pulled into those blue eyes and she had to break away "I need sometime," she turned and ran for the door of the building and rushed inside.

Elliot stood stunned beside her car. He could see that she was scared, he was too. It was true that what they had done could cost them their friendship but they could gain so much more. He loved her; he needed to let her know that. He walked up to the building and pushed the buzzer for her apartment. There was no answer. He assumed that she just hadn't gotten there yet so he waited.

Olivia ran up the first flight of stairs quickly but as soon as she reached the landing she leaned against the wall. What had she done? What had they done? This would change everything between them. If anything went wrong now she would lose the best relationship of any type she had ever had in her entire life. And she knew that something would go wrong; things always went wrong in a romantic relationship when she was involved. She stood there and cried for a long time before she decided finally to head to her apartment.

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It had been ten minutes and Elliot pressed the buzzer again, still no answer. He decided to go home and call her. They had to work this out. He loved her and he had to find someway of showing her that didn't involve frenzied love making. He hailed a cab to take him back to the precinct where his car was still parked, knowing that he would be back in the morning to see her again. That was the only way he was able to pull himself away from her building in the first place, knowing that he'd see her again.

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She unlocked her door and threw her keys down on the small table to the left of it when she got inside. She put her badge and gun down beside it before she turned to close and lock the door. She sighed heavily as she headed into the kitchen. She knew that her dreams tonight would be of Elliot. Usually she didn't mind those dreams; she had them often enough that she knew how not to let on about them to anyone in her subtle body language but since the dreams had now turned to reality she was feeling very confused. Her cheeks were still flushed from the passion she had experienced.

She turned on the tap and pulled a glass out of the cabinet to the right of the sink. Propping her head against her hand she stared out the small window above the sink as the glass filled with water. What was she going to do about this? She had to talk to him again. They worked together for God sake. But would he even speak to her after she ran away from him tonight? She had left him without a ride home. He had come back to her apartment with her with, she was sure, every intention of spending the night. And she had shot him down right outside, she had turned him away. Words could not express how low she felt at that moment.

She snapped back into reality when the cool water had filled the glass and looking for somewhere to go, spilled over the side and covered her hand. She pulled the glass from underneath the stream of water and turned it off. She took a deep gulp of the cool liquid. It may have only been New York tap water but it wasn't that bad, especially since Elliot had installed that filter for her three years ago.

She remembered that day. He had still been married to Kathy back then but looking back, Olivia thought that the marriage must have been on a razor's edge. It had been a lazy summer afternoon when Elliot had come over with tools, ready to get to work.

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"Liv open the door!" he called from the other side.

She gladly obeyed, opening the door and revealing Elliot in jeans and a t-shirt and carrying what looked to her to be a much bigger toolbox than necessary "This way," she smiled as she lead him to the sink.

He set his toolbox down and went to work. After about an hour he was done "All finished," he smiled standing up. He grabbed two glasses from the cabinet and filled them both with water. He handed one to Olivia "I propose a toast," he said dramatically.

She laughed "A toast. You know you can be such an idiot," she smiled at the feigned look of hurt that he gave her.

"Come on Liv," he pouted which only made her laugh harder "I just spent an hour fixing your sink, humor me, would ya?"

"First of all," she couldn't stop smiling "It wasn't broken."

"But I made it better," he told her "Just taste the water now."

"Ok," she lifted the glass to her lips but he held out his hand and stopped her.

"First the toast," he insisted.

"Okay, okay," Olivia finally gave in. She held up her glass and waited for him to speak.

He raised his glass high in the air "To friendship," he began "And having a best friend who is too stubborn or she just likes the heat too much to get an air conditioner."

"Cheers," she laughed as she downed the water which made her cough furiously.

"You alright?" He asked when she had stopped coughing.

"Yeah," she nodded "On the plus side," she looked up at him "Best damn tap water I've ever tasted."

Elliot chuckled "You know Liv, that's not really saying much at all."

They both laughed and finished their water. Olivia set both glasses down on the counter next to the sink and turned back to Elliot "So what are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?" she asked.

"I cleared my entire schedule for this," he told her. He truly had planned on spending his whole afternoon at Olivia's. Kathy had taken the kids to the beach in an effort to give him some space in the hopes that it would help their relationship. He didn't have much confidence in the whole 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' thing and he really didn't think it would work in this case.

Olivia was just about to say something when Elliot's cell phone rang. She watched as his face fell instantly at seeing the caller ID "Work?" she asked.

"Kathy," he whispered as he flipped the phone open.

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Olivia sighed as she took another sip of her water. She had left the room after that to give Elliot some privacy so she hadn't heard any of the call but she remembered that after it, Elliot had seemed no where near as happy as he had been when he had made her toast to friendship. It had turned out that Lizzie had broken her arm and Elliot had to go to the hospital and pick up the other kids while Kathy stayed at the hospital.

"Hello Olivia."

She dropped her glass at the sound of the voice. Shards of glass flew in every direction. Water splashed her shirt. She took in a slow deep breath as she turned around. She prayed that she had imagined the voice and had the sudden urge to shut her eyes. But when she had fully turned around, she saw no one. She looked through the kitchen door into the living room but she saw no one. She saw however that the lamp on the end table closest to the kitchen had been turned on and she didn't remember having turned it on when she came in.

Cautiously she stepped into the living room. Her eyes scanned the familiar furniture and found that nothing seemed out of place except for the lamp being on. She stepped back into the kitchen, assuming that she had forgotten that she had turned the light on and that she had imagined the voice. Even though she told herself that she wasn't anywhere near that old yet.

She got out the dust pan and began to sweep up the shards of glass "Son of a bitch," she cursed herself for her over active imagination and her over reaction to it. She emptied the shards into the trash and bent down to put the dustpan back on the shelf where it belonged.

"It's so good to see you again."

She froze as strong arms wrapped around her from behind. It was the same voice from before and at that moment she knew she hadn't been going crazy. She almost wished that she had though. She tried to turn around but she was powerless in his arms which she remembered was something that really turned him on. That he could make her helpless.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," he kissed the back of her neck gently "I've thought about you every day," he pulled her into a standing position "And I just knew I had to see you," he turned her around to face him.

She found herself staring at Andy Eckerson. Good looking as ever, his eyes dark with desire for her "How did you get in here?" she asked, her voice holding only the tiniest edge of apprehension. She was glad that she had been successful in masking most of her fear.

"That's not important," he told her as he ran a hand down her cheek "All that matters is that we're together now."

Olivia knew that she didn't want to have anything to do with this man, never again "Get out," she said evenly.

"Oh sweetheart," he pulled her close to him and kissed her on the lips "I know you don't really mean that."

He held her so tight against his body that she could feel his already growing erection "Yes I do," she told him, trying to pull away "Get out," she repeated.

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Elliot collapsed on his couch and reached for the cordless phone. He just had to talk to her. He had to tell her that he loved her. He dialed the familiar number and waited. One ring… Two rings… Three rings. As it rang he got up from the couch and began to pace "Come on Liv," he muttered to himself "Pick up, pick up."

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The phone was ringing. She knew that she had to get to it. It was her best chance. She needed help because no matter how hard she tried, she knew she couldn't deal with Andy on her own.

He had her pinned against a wall and he was running his hands all over her while he kissed her "I love you," he murmured into her mouth.

She tried to slowly inch along the wall to where the phone was but she had no luck. The ringing stopped and the answering machine picked up. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the voice of the person leaving the message.

"Liv it's me."

"Elliot," she whispered without even realizing it.

Andy slapped her hard.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I hope I didn't do anything to hurt you tonight. I guess you must have gone to bed already so I won't bother you much longer. I just wanted to let you know…" Elliot paused "I love you."

Those words seemed to send Eckerson in a fit of rage. He pulled Olivia off the ground and held her against the wall with her feet dangling in the air. He held her with one hand squeezing her wind pipe as he backhanded her with the other "Did you sleep with him!" he asked infuriated.

Olivia was gasping for air but she found that there was room to kick and so she did. Both feet made contact with Andy. One struck him in the crotch and caused him to double over. He let go of Olivia and she collapsed on the floor. She quickly recovered and ran for the phone 'Please still be their,' she silently prayed as she reached it.

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Elliot lingered on the phone, not wanting to hang up but having nothing else to say. He was just about to push the button and end the call when he suddenly heard a frantic voice on the other end.

"Elliot," Olivia was out of breath and he could hear the fear clearly.

"Liv what's wrong?" he asked already grabbing his coat.

"It's-"

He heard crashing on the other end of the line "Olivia! Olivia!" he called frantically.

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Eckerson pulled her towards him once again, knocking over everything in his path as he did so "No," he told her "I love you. You're mine. No one else can have you."

She lay beneath him on the floor, helpless "Don't," she begged weakly as his fist came crashing down on her face.

"You're mine," he told her as he picked her up and flung her against the wall.

She struggled to her feet but she was extremely disoriented at this point. She tried to get to the phone again. Her fingers closed around it just as she felt Eckerson grab her around the waist again. He was pulling her away from the phone. She was only able to get two last words out before his hand covered her mouth with what she recognized instantly as chloroform soaked rag.

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Elliot heard the noises on the other end and he could swear his heart stopped beating. He heard a man's voice that he thought he knew shouting angrily although he couldn't make out the words. He heard another loud crashing sound followed by the sounds of a struggle. Finally he heard two clear words that caused something inside him to break, two words spoken by the woman that he would do anything for. He knew that he had to do what those two words asked of him but he didn't know how.

"Elliot Help!"

**TBC**

**A/N: Okay guys please tell me what you think and try to keep the hate mail to a minimum please? I would really appreciate the feedback.**


	2. Chapter 2: Gone

**In My Life**

**Chapter 2: Gone**

This was not the way that he wanted to come back to her apartment. He had imagined that he might drive over in the morning; perhaps a neighbor that recognized him would let him up as often happened. He would climb the stairs to her building; perhaps he would have even brought flowers with him, camellias; her favorite. He would knock on her door and she would open it, a hint of suspicion in her eyes. She would be wearing a bathrobe or perhaps boxers and a t-shirt or maybe she would have just gotten out of the shower and her hair would be wet and hanging in her face. He would wrap his arms around her tight, apologize for all his wrongs and tell her again and again that he loved her with all his heart and soul. He would tell her that he had loved her for as long as he could remember.

This was not the way it was supposed to be; rushing over frantically in the middle of the night, a CSU team dusting for prints and spraying luminal to search for blood. There wasn't supposed to be a spatter of blood evident on her wall. None of this was how it was supposed to be. He should have never gone home. He should have stayed. He should have pounded on the door until someone let him in. He should have kicked the crap out of who ever it was that had entered her apartment through that broken bedroom window that also wasn't supposed to be there.

He should have been holding her in his arms at that moment instead of wondering where she was and being completely afraid for her. He should have been taking her back to his apartment to console her after having someone break in. He should have been arguing with her about whether she needed him or not. Oh God how he would give anything to argue with her at that moment.

A young CSU tech approached him, causing him to snap out of his thoughts "The only fingerprints we can find are Detective Benson's," the tech informed him.

'Damn it,' Elliot thought. Her last two words still echoed in his head and he knew that they would be there until he found her. Suddenly he felt ill, he needed fresh air. He walked briskly out of the apartment, bumping into Munch and Fin as he did so.

The other two men said nothing to him. They knew how he was feeling; it was written all over his face. They decided to leave him alone and not to approach him without having some good news.

Elliot took a long walk down the stairs of the building and out into the night. The night was mild and a gentle breeze floated around him. As he walked he felt the tears begin to sting his eyes. He failed her, as a friend, as a partner, as anything and every thing that the world had asked him to be, he had failed. He had failed his father by not being the son he had wanted. He had failed Kathy by not being the husband she needed. Now he had failed Olivia by not being there when she needed him. She had been kidnapped and God knows what else and it was all his fault; he wished he had a clue or some sign, a hint to who it was who took her.

By this point he had made his way to the alley that ran behind Olivia's building. He was wandering aimlessly now until something caught his eye, a glint of metal in the faint light cast by the windows of the surrounding buildings. He walked nearer to it and bent down. He was still wearing his latex gloves so he picked it up without fear of contaminating any evidence. It was a badge but as he turned it and allowed the light to twinkle on the surface he realized that it didn't belong to anyone who was NYPD. It was a US Marshal's badge, Deputy US Marshal Andy Eckerson to be exact. Everything clicked in his mind and he knew why the voice had sounded so familiar. It had been Andy, Andy had Olivia. He brought the badge back upstairs for the CSU techs to examine.

He climbed the stairs with a small flame of hope flickering deep within his heart. He entered the apartment and handed the badge to the nearest tech. He turned to see Cragen, Munch and Fin standing around the answering machine, all three men had tears in their eyes that refused to fall. Elliot knew that they had heard the message. Olivia's frantic calls for help were now etched in their minds as well.

Cragen approached Elliot and put a hand on the younger man's shoulder "We need to talk," he pulled Elliot into the hallway of the building.

Elliot didn't like the sound of those words. Sure he had said that he loved Olivia on that message but that meant very little in the grand scheme of things. Then another thought occurred to him. He could be pulled off the case "Captain," he began frantically trying to defend himself "You can't-"

Cragen cut him off "Elliot, we don't have time for this now," he spoke sternly, trying to keep his composure and remain the leader that his detectives needed him to be although this case was tearing him up inside "I'm not gonna take you off the case. You are one of the few people I trust and right now I need you," he paused and looked down at the ground "She needs us to do the best job we've ever done and that means that all my detectives are on the case," he looked up again "but Elliot. That tape is in evidence now. Once the brass gets wind of this, you and Olivia won't be partners anymore."

"I don't care what the brass does," Elliot said defiantly "As long as we get her back safe, I don't give a damn about anything else in the world," with that he turned and went back into the apartment to watch the techs finish processing the crime scene.

Cragen shook his head. He'd known that Elliot and Olivia were in love. He had been in love once and the good Lord had taken his wife away from him. Although when Marge died there had been closure. He couldn't imagine what Elliot was going through right now, knowing that the woman that he loved was gone but not knowing where or what happened to her. That tape wouldn't help them much and it could end up costing Elliot his job. Cragen walked up to the CSU tech who was bagging the answering machine tape.

"Yes sir?" the tech asked, looking up.

Cragen took the tape "You never saw this," he told the young man. He turned and walked away leaving the confused tech just standing there. Pocketing the tape, Cragen joined Elliot and the others in the bedroom where they were all crowded around the broken window. Morales was bagging a few shards "What do we have?" Cragen asked.

"We got some blood," Morales said as he focused on the bag in his hand "and some hair strands," he added.

Elliot bent down to get a closer look at the strands of hair "Bastard," he cursed under his breath. They were long strands of a deep honey caramel blond color. Eckerson had used Olivia's head to break the window "I'll kill him," Elliot said angrily, straightening up.

"Kill who?" Cragen, Munch, Fin and Morales asked in unison.

"Eckerson," Elliot growled "I found his badge on the ground outside." He stared out through the broken glass onto the fire escape. Eckerson wouldn't have needed to break the window; he was trained in sneaking around. He had shoved her head through the window just as another way of showing her that he was in charge. It was just another way of controlling her. Elliot felt the anger building inside him. He needed to take it out on something. He turned and punched the nearest wall.

Cragen took a moment to let this new information sink in. She'd been kidnapped by a Fed, a Fed who was good at making people disappear. The US Marshals new how to set someone up with a new identity, a new life and they knew how to make it so no one ever found that person again.

"Where is the badge now?" Morales asked. He wanted to make sure that all the evidence was in order. He would have processed the entire scene himself if he could have. He worked with the other techs and even respected some of them but Olivia's disappearance was just too big to leave to anyone else.

"I gave it to Millie," Elliot told him.

Morales rushed out of the room and up to Millie Vizcarrando. He reached out his gloved hand to her "Give it to me Millie," he said sternly.

She looked at him with nothing but confusion written on her face "Excuse me?" she said indignantly.

"The badge Elliot found," Ruben told her "hand it over."

Millie pulled out the bag that she had put the badge in "Here," she told him as she shoved it into his hands "Why are you so uptight?"

"A detective was just kidnapped and you want to know why I'm uptight?" he asked her. He grabbed her by the shoulders tight and shook her.

"Ruben," she whimpered slightly from the pain "You're hurting me."

He let her go instantly "I'm sorry Millie," he told her, inside he was kicking himself for having just done that to her "I've just been on edge lately and this case is just a little…"

"I know," she put a hand on the side of his face and quickly looking around to see that no one was facing in their direction brought her lips to his "This is hard for all of us," she whispered as she pulled away "But," she continued in a slightly louder tone "That still doesn't explain why you don't trust me with evidence."

"I'm having a hard time trusting anyone," he told her. He turned and walked back towards the bedroom "Nothing personal."

Millie stood stunned for a moment. 'Nothing personal?' They had been dating for three months now and everything had become personal. She loved him and how caring he could be sometimes and sometimes she could picture herself with him for the rest of her life or at least that's what she told herself. But she hated that he could be so harsh sometimes but she knew that that's what made him a good cop. She had been thinking lately though that maybe she should end it and his actions just now were only serving to support her theory; they could just be the out she wanted. She knew she had a lot to think about.

Ruben entered the bedroom and saw that Cragen, Munch, Fin and Elliot were all talking in hushed tones. He quickly assessed the room and decided that there was no new evidence he needed to collect and turned to leave once more. It seemed wrong to intrude on the conversation of these four men. Ruben knew that they were the closest thing that Olivia had to family and this discussion was obviously not meant for his ears. So he left, quietly shutting the door behind him to give them some privacy.

"We're gonna find her Elliot," Munch reiterated firmly as he placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"I should have never left her. I should have-" Elliot's pity party was cut off by Fin.

"You can stand there and think of all the things you could have done but it won't do anyone any good," Fin shot out "If this guy was as determined as he seems to be, he would have found a way to get rid of you anyway," he turned to leave the room before calling back over his shoulder "Get off your ass and do something besides blaming yourself. I'm sick of hearing it."

Elliot wanted to run after Fin in that very moment and punch him but he knew that he had a point. None of this blaming himself was helping Olivia. He turned to Cragen "Let's get started."

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"Coming!" Casey yelled at the frantic pounding on her door. She placed the empty beer bottle down on the counter and it promptly toppled to the floor and shattered "Shit," she muttered as she stepped as carefully as she could over the glass and headed towards the door.

"Casey!" Elliot yelled from the other side of the door "Open up already," he muttered to himself.

"Jesus," Casey complained to herself as she unchained the door. She saw Elliot standing on the other side looking like a man on a mission. She was not in the mood for whatever SVU needed her to do tonight, maybe she would have been in the mood three or four beers ago "What do you want?" she spat.

Elliot took in the semi dazed look in her eyes, the way her words came out slightly slurred "Are you… drunk?" he asked. This was not the time. God, of all the nights that Casey could get plastered, why did she choose tonight?

"I'm not drunk," Casey protested "I just had maybe like one too many." She opened the door and beckoned Elliot to enter.

He did so reluctantly. His eyes were immediately drawn to the broken glass on the floor. He rolled his eyes, now was not the time. He couldn't deal with this "Casey," he turned to her "I need you."

That wasn't the smartest choice of words on Elliot's part but it did get Casey's attention. She blushed and giggled "I'm sorry," she told him "You just aren't my type."

Elliot scratched his head, confused. Suddenly it hit him "No!" he began abruptly "No not like that," he found himself stumbling for words "It's Olivia," he finally blurted out.

"Excuse me?" Casey was finding it impossible to follow Elliot's train of thought. She made her way to the coffee machine and clumsily began preparing a pot. She put the grounds in the filter and filled the pot with water but instead of poring the water into the back compartment of the machine she simply put the pot on the burner. She didn't notice her mistake however and leaned against the counter, scrutinizing Elliot through red rimmed eyes.

Elliot watched in amusement; he couldn't remember seeing Casey drunk before or at least never this drunk. He moved towards the coffee machine and promptly corrected her error. Getting some actual caffeine in her would be a lot better than just plain hot water.

"So," Casey began as she fell laughing against his shoulder "You need me and Olivia? Does your ex-wife know about these strange compulsions of yours?"

Elliot bit his lip and tried to suppress the urge to do one of two things. He was ready to laugh his head off or punch something he wasn't sure which. He only knew that neither was a good idea right now. He gently moved away from Casey and left her to lean against the counter once more. He decided to just tell her "Olivia's been kidnapped."

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Three hours and about a dozen cups of coffee later Elliot dropped Casey off at her office to draw up a warrant for Eckerson's apartment. Elliot sat in the car waiting for Casey; it was his job to drive since she was 'still somewhere between buzzed and faced'.

He looked at the clock on the dashboard; it was 1:35. It had only been four and a half hours since he had last seen Olivia, four hours since he had last heard her voice. What if he… no he couldn't think that way. He hated himself for having failed her. He remembered the way she had looked when they had stood by the car. She had been scared of what they had just done and she had run. Damn it why had he just stood there like an idiot? He should have run after her right away. He should have called after her. There were so many things he should have done and now he might never… again he couldn't think that way. For her sake he couldn't let himself think like that.

If they… when they found her he would never let a day go by in the future without letting her know how much he loved her. He had waited eight years and he thought that perhaps if he hadn't waited so long, she might be in his arms tonight. He wanted more than anything at that moment to feel her hair running between his fingertips, to hear her sweet voice in his ears and to breathe the sweet scent that she possessed. The tears came silently but they came fast as he waited for Casey to return.

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Casey got the paperwork together. Her head was pounding from the alcohol, caffeine and fatigue but she couldn't stop for anything, not now. Olivia had been abducted; Casey knew just as well as any of the detectives did that the longer they waited, the less chance they had of finding her alive if at all.

Why did she decide to dull the pain tonight of all nights. Sure Jason had just broken up with her that evening and done it over the phone no less. But that was no excuse for getting wasted on a night when she was going to be needed for something so important. It didn't matter how many times she tried to tell herself that she couldn't have known that this was going to happen; she still felt like a complete idiot for doing it. She felt some comfort knowing that the pain she was feeling in her head at that moment was well deserved.

She gathered the folder into her arms and opened the door to her office. She groaned and squinted when the harsh florescent lights assaulted her blood shot eyes. Quickly she rushed out to where Elliot was waiting in the car.

She slipped into the passenger's seat as gracefully as she could. She turned to Elliot "Now to find a judge that'll sign a warrant on such limited evidence," she told him. She leaned back in her chair and sighed heavily "To Carson's, driver," she instructed in a slightly sarcastic tone. She hoped she could find Judge Davis there. He often was on Friday nights; it was her best chance at getting the warrant signed.

"A bar," Elliot began incredulously "Casey you aren't helping by just getting more and more smashed." He was angry that Casey could even think about going to a bar when things were so desperate.

"Look," Casey spoke angrily as she looked him straight in the eye "Do you want this warrant signed or not?" Elliot simply nodded, stunned into momentary silence by Casey's sudden outburst. Casey continued, unwavering in her rage towards Elliot at that moment "No judge in their right mind would sign a warrant where the only piece of evidence is an ID that could have ended up where it was found any number of ways," she grabbed Elliot's shoulder and pulled him close to her so that she was whispering, almost hissing in his ear "So we need a judge out of his mind and if we're lucky Judge Davis will still be at Carson's and he will be drunk enough to accept what I tell him but not too drunk to write his name." She released him and turned to face forward. She spoke one last word to him in a short curt tone; she wasn't in the mood to deal with any of his bullshit "Drive."

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Ruben slung his coat over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He had been processing the evidence from Olivia's apartment and had been hell bent on doing it himself. He didn't trust anyone else with this job. Finally at one in the morning Captain Siper had made him go home. She had told him that there were plenty of other competent techs that could do the job and that he needed to get home and get some sleep. Siper had known that Ruben had been working thirty six hours straight by that point and she had gone so far as to order him to go home.

He walked to the sink and turning on the tap, splashed cold water on his face. The sudden coolness was relieving as drops ran down his cheeks and soothed his overworked mind if only briefly.

He was careful to be quiet in his movements so as not to wake Millie. Cautiously he stepped into the bedroom expecting that Millie was already asleep. He was surprised when he found her wide awake, standing beside the bed and zipping up her duffle bag.

"Millie sweetheart," he began as he approached her. He reached his arms out to her to envelope her in a tight hug but she shrugged him off.

"Not now Ruben," she told him as she picked up the bag "Not ever again," she turned and began to walk out of the apartment.

He followed her to the door, he just couldn't stand losing her not tonight when the world proved that it could tear down everything that the badge stood for; that even the strongest woman could fall victim to a demon disguised as a man "Millie," he placed a hand on her arm "I'm so sorry about earlier… I didn't mean to hurt you like that. You know I would never-"

She cut him off with fire in her voice and eyes. She was tired of shacking up with this man. He was too clean cut; too much of a goody two shoes. It had taken him forever to ask her out because he was afraid of endangering their jobs. He still walked on eggshells around Siper and the others and she was sick of it. She never really liked him; she had only felt sorry for him. The first date was a pity date and she had stayed with him just for the sex but the sex wasn't worth putting up with the rest of him "Goodbye Ruben," with that she was gone in a blur.

Ruben ran after her and caught up with her at the door to the elevator "Millie," he pleaded in hushed tones so as not to disturb his neighbors "Just stay the night. Maybe things will look different in the light of day," he reached a tentative hand towards her upper arm once more.

"No!" she shot back. Millie didn't care if she woke any of Ruben's neighbors up; she just didn't care "It's over you idiot," she spat at him "Get that through your thick head." The elevator doors opened and Millie was just about to step in when she turned and shoved Ruben hard against a wall "Pathetic," she muttered as she stepped inside and the doors closed after her.

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Elliot pulled up in front of the bar. Casey, who hadn't said a word to him for the entire drive, got out and headed inside. He stared after her, not caring at all that they weren't speaking. Truthfully there was only one person on his mind, only one thing he cared about. Whether or not he was talking to Casey was irrelevant as long as she got the warrant signed.

The second they had the warrant he was going to hunt Eckerson down and kick the crap out of him. He didn't want to think about the things that could be happening to Olivia at that moment. Years of experience had taught him what men like Eckerson were capable of and the thought made his stomach turn. He couldn't stop hating himself for allowing this to happen.

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Casey scanned the smoky room. Judge Davis was easy to spot. He was sitting on a stool at the end of the bar, animatedly chatting with the bartender. She made her way cautiously towards him, making her best effort to avoid the gazes of far gone bar patrons who seemed pleased at the sight of the new comer. Taking a seat on the stool next to the judge, she turned to face him "Judge Davis," she began tentatively.

A slow, drunken smile of recognition spread across the judge's face "Ms. Novak," his speech was only slightly slurred "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

She opened the folder that she held in her hand and spread it out on the bar in front of the inebriated judge. She handed him a pen "I need this warrant signed," she smiled nervously. It was the moment of truth. If she could convince Judge Davis that the warrant contained probable cause then they were golden.

The judge took the pen that was offered to him and without a second thought or even asking a single question, signed his name "There you go," he told her as the bartender placed another drink in front of him.

"Thank you," Casey said quickly as she slid off the stool and headed for the door. It seemed to her that getting the warrant signed was too easy; he hadn't even asked any questions. She hoped that it wouldn't come back to bite them in the butt later. She tried to put the thought out of her mind and headed for the car.

She got in, holding the open folder up for Elliot to see, she spoke emotionlessly to him "Got it."

Elliot pulled out his cell phone and called the captain to let him know that they had the warrant and to meet them at Eckerson's apartment. He hung up, turned the car on and sped off, the silently building tension in the car threatening to burst at any moment.

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"Police, open up!" Elliot didn't even wait for a response from the other side of the door before he kicked it down. He ignored the stares that he received from his colleagues as he entered the apartment with his gun drawn. The detectives spread out in different directions and began to search the apartment. Elliot's heart fell a little further with each call of 'clear' that was heard as each room yielded no signs of life. When the search was complete all of the detectives and Captain Cragen converged in the living room.

"We should get a CSU team in here," Cragen began.

"There's no point," Elliot was angry "He wouldn't have brought her here; he would have known that this would be the first place we'd go," he slammed his hand down on a nearby table with such force that a photo album toppled to the floor, falling open for all four men to see.

Munch was the quickest of the men to put on gloves and retrieve the album "Dear God," he murmured as he slowly turned the pages.

"He's been stalking her," Fin said in realization.

Elliot took the album and looked through the pictures. The photos documented Olivia's day to day life; they were even time coded. There were pictures of her on the sidewalk outside her building, with Elliot as they investigated various crime scenes, most of the pictures were of both her and Elliot. "He's been stalking both of us," Elliot whispered.

Upon further inspection of the apartment it became obvious that Eckerson had indeed been stalking the both of them. Notebooks where he had tried to work out the schedule of each detective down to the minute were found in the drawer of his nightstand. Journals with stomach turning entries were hidden under the bed. Andy's obsession seemed to go back years, starting just after he and Olivia had ended their relationship. According to the journals, tonight had been the planned night because Eckerson knew that Elliot would be in court and hadn't expected him to take Olivia out to dinner; a change that in the end had probably aided his plan more than hindered it.

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Elliot stood on the roof of the precinct, staring down at the city. He wondered if she was still even in the city. Most likely not; New York may be a big city but Elliot knew that Eckerson wouldn't be so dumb as to think he could hide in it for long. He sighed heavily as he leaned against the railing, his head in his hands. Knowing that Eckerson did it was worthless without knowing where to look.

The door leading onto the roof opened softly and Casey stepped out. She walked over to Elliot and tapped him on the shoulder "We're gonna find her," she assured him. She had been mad earlier in the evening that Elliot couldn't trust her judgment but truthfully she had given him very little to trust. She wasn't angry anymore.

He glanced over at her briefly "Yeah," was all he said before his gaze shifted back to the streets below.

Casey silently handed him a piece of paper then turned to head back inside. At the door to the stairs she paused "We will," with that she had disappeared inside the precinct.

Elliot looked at the paper that Casey had given him. He did a quick double take and then rushed down the stairs back to the squad room.

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Her head hurt. That was the first thing she was aware of. She reached a hand up to touch the spot and found a rather thick wad of gauze fashioned into a makeshift bandage. She slowly opened her eyes. Where ever she was, it was dark. She sat up slowly on what she figured was a cot. The pain in her head begged her to lie down again instantly though.

The chirping of crickets could be heard and she knew that she was no longer in the city. The events leading her to be where she was came back to her and she knew she had to get away if she could.

She sprang up from the cot once more, ignoring the pain this time even as it screamed at her. She reached a wall and in the dark began to feel around. Her hands met with a window sill. Judging from how high off the ground it was she deduced that she was in a basement. Her fingers fumbled clumsily in the dark with the lock on the window when she heard footsteps from somewhere behind her.

She managed to open the window and hoist herself onto the high up sill when the basement room was flooded with light. The window screen gave way easily and she was almost through. She could see trees, very tall trees and not a sign of another building for miles. She breathed in cool night air that was fresh and smelled of grass and leaves, unlike the city smells of gasoline and garbage.

Suddenly rough hands yanked her back inside. She landed hard on the floor looking straight up into Andy's face. The bright light in the basement only made her head pound more furiously but still she managed to struggle against him.

Andy pinned her wrists together using only one hand. He put his full weight on her stomach and soon she found fighting back almost useless. He smile at her "I'm glad you're awake," he told her in all honesty.

"Get, off, of, me," she venomously spat out each word, masking her fear with her anger.

He saw right through her words; the fear in her eyes spoke louder than anything else. He knew she was afraid of him and he planned to use that fear. He simply smiled down at her once more as he shifted his weight off of her only to pick her up and carry her back to the cot.

She tried to fight him off once again but again she was unsuccessful. Before she knew it, she was tied to the cot and the reality of what he was about to do set in. She squeezed her eyes shut.

**TBC**

**A/N: Ok, cliff hangers don't come more evil than this one. Please review and give me feedback. Also, I know I'm evil so you don't need to remind me.**


	3. Chapter 3: Escape

**In My Life**

**Chapter 3: Escape**

**A/N: Some parts of this chapter may cross the boarder into M territory so be warned.**

He ran a hand up the front of her shirt, grinning to himself as he felt her muscles tense instantly beneath his touch. His hand reached the flesh of her breast; he felt the tender flesh roughly with his fingers eliciting a moan of discomfort as she winced and tried to pull away. He had restrained her well however and she failed. Violently his lips came crashing to hers as the hand that had been exploring under her shirt went to the back of her neck, forcing the kiss to grow deeper against her wishes.

She whimpered in pain; she didn't mean to but she did anyway. She had always told herself that if this ever happened, if anyone ever managed to get the best of her, that she would not scream, would not beg, would not give her attacker the satisfaction of knowing that he was hurting her. So she kept her eyes shut, trying but failing to pretend she was somewhere else as he separated from her mouth and moved to the hem of her pants, pushing them and her panties to her ankles in one fluid motion.

"You are so beautiful," he told her just before he entered her.

His intrusion was fast and painful as every muscle in the lower half of her body contracted in an effort to keep it out. He moved in painful strokes that continually made her wince. Her eyes were clenched shut as she tried to hold back the tears; even in this moment when everything she was, was being obliterated she tried to maintain control over something. He grunted as his arousal grew and his movements became deeper, faster, the pain brought with them more violent and unbearable.

She had lost control over the tears and over her voice as it became too much "Stop!" she screamed "Please!" she begged him as the tears streamed down her face.

"Shut up!" he shouted, back handing her and continued seemingly unfazed, with his trespass.

She really wished she could shut up. She didn't want to beg; she was stronger than this, wasn't she? If she had ended up in a situation like this, she deserved anything that happened to her. She wanted to be able to rein in the screams and stop the begging that only shamed her more but she couldn't "No!" she screamed again "Please stop!"

He finished and got off of her still panting. He sat beside her restrained form on the cot for a few minutes "That was amazing," he told her bending down to kiss her. She turned her head away from him and he yanked her back "Look at me when I talk to you," he told her in a low, menacing tone. He kissed her and stood up "I'll be back later," he told her "Rest." With that he was gone, turning off the basement lights as he climbed the stairs.

She lay in the dark, stripped of more than just her clothes. The pain that she still felt between her thighs made her sick. She was completely humiliated, broken, she wished she was dead. There was nothing except the depressing reality. She had just been raped. She had let it happen. She could have fought back harder couldn't she have?

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Casey stalked into the squad room. She flopped into Elliot's desk chair and immediately slumped over the desk itself. She rubbed her temples with a groan of agitation.

"How's that hangover?" Munch teased, coming up beside her.

"It sucks," Casey mumbled into her folded arms. She still hadn't forgiven herself for getting drunk tonight; she didn't think she would ever forgive herself.

"Drink this," he instructed as he set a coffee cup down by her hand.

She looked up and groaned "Do you know how much coffee I've had tonight?" she asked incredulously "I think it's stopped working completely." She stared into the cup of questionable brown liquid "Besides," she looked back up at Munch "Did you make this John?"

"I resent that," John said, holding his hands to his chest and feigning an expression of hurt. It was well known that John Munch made perhaps the worst coffee on the whole island of Manhattan but that didn't stop him from making it every chance he got.

"Be careful who you do that gesture in front of man," Fin warned, referring to the hands that John still held over his supposedly wounded heart "People will think you're having a heart attack old man."

Casey groaned "Guys please."

Munch returned to his desk and grabbed his coat "Did you tell Elliot?" he asked Casey.

"I gave him the fax." She responded "He didn't seem too much in the mood for talking and I didn't want to push him."

"Do you th-?" Fin started to ask when Elliot burst into the bullpen waving the fax in his hand wildly.

He ran to his own desk and ignoring the fact that Casey was sitting in his chair, grabbed his own jacket and threw it on hastily "What are we waiting for?" he asked.

"Captain's goin' with us," Fin told him.

"We're still waiting for him to get back from the DA's office," Casey grumbled.

"The DA's office," Elliot scratched his head, puzzled "What's he doing there?"

"Kissing some major ass," Cragen responded from the door of the squad room. He turned to Munch, Fin and Elliot who stood ready to go "Let's move."

The four men emptied out of the squad room in a hurry, leaving Casey alone in the silence. She picked up the coffee cup and took a tentative sip of the coffee. She swallowed hard. The coffee wasn't appealing in the least bit "Good luck guys," she whispered into the now empty room. She prayed that they would find Olivia and that they would all make it back safe.

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5:00am and the sun was slowly rising as the four men sat silently in the car on the way to Virginia. The fax that Casey had initially handed to Elliot on the rooftop contained information about a cabin leased to Andy Eckerson in the Virginia woods. Munch sat in the back seat looking over a map of the area, trying to determine the exact location of the cabin, Fin looked on over his shoulder. Normally the two men would be arguing about some such thing or another but not today. Today was different; a somber feeling of doom and dread hung around them like a shroud.

Elliot sat in the passenger seat of the sedan, staring straight ahead of him as Cragen drove. A million what ifs buzzed in his brain, every single one of them inflicting its own brand of anguish on his soul; they just had to find her, they had to. He knew there was no way that he would be able to live with himself if they didn't; in fact he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to live at all. For so long she had been his safety net, his balance. She was the calming force that kept him from crossing that line. She had always pulled him back just at the brink and soothed his rage. It was something that he was sure that not even she was aware of because he had only just realized it himself. He couldn't begin to contemplate his life without her. He would fall off the edge and become nothing without her there to salvage his soul.

They were still at least six hours from even crossing the state line; traffic was not on their side, not even at such an early hour. The brick buildings of the New York City burrows had given way sometime ago to tree lined highways. The trees past before Elliot's eyes but he didn't really acknowledge that they were there. All he could think about was Olivia. Was she even still…? Roads his mind didn't want to travel seemed to be well trodden by this point. The endless horrific possibilities making him want to wretch every two seconds as yet another one crept its way into the forefront of his mind.

Cragen pulled the car onto an exit ramp as they prepared to transition to the next highway. The sharp turn forced Elliot's head to bump into the passenger side window "Damn it," he muttered under his breath. The two small syllables echoed like a gong in the silent car.

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She lay staring up at the ceiling, watching the early morning light slowly fill her prison. The tears had stopped coming; she didn't think there was a drop left in her to cry. She had been alone for a while now and for that she was at least partly grateful. It was better to lie alone than to lie beneath a man who's only interest was having you to himself.

From time to time she heard footsteps up above her. Heavy footsteps that made her stomach knot up. She knew it was Andy and she was afraid of what he would do next. The footsteps hadn't come down the stairs again yet though and she found herself breathing a little easier each time they stopped.

Suddenly she heard a new noise; this noise was coming from outside. The distinct sound of twigs snapping as someone made their way towards the structure reached her ears. Silently Olivia hoped against all odds that someone had found her and that this nightmare would be over soon.

A rather loud knock sounded from somewhere upstairs and Olivia reasoned that it must be that same person she had heard approaching. Andy's footsteps started up again as Olivia's breath caught in her throat. The sound of a door being pulled open was the next thing she heard, followed by the sound of Andy talking to someone. Olivia couldn't hear every word that was spoken clearly; all she knew was that Andy was talking to a woman. The woman's voice did seem vaguely familiar however and Olivia racked her brain trying to place it.

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"You went and lead them right to me didn't you?" Andy accused the woman who stood in front of him.

"I did no such thing," she protested as she faced him "If anything I saved your ass by getting that thing back for you."

Andy looked down at the object in his hand then back up at the woman with whom he was now thrust into a strange partnership "I guess you did," he admitted softly, kicking himself for his own stupidity.

The woman took a step towards him "I want out of this," she said in a low voice.

Andy nodded, she had fulfilled her part of the deal in this plan several times over and now it was time to relieve her of her obligation "How much did we agree on?" he asked as he rummaged through the dresser that was positioned oddly beside the front door of the cabin.

"Twenty thousand," she reminded him, hoping that he was smart enough not to write her a check and leave the paper trail to connect them.

"Of course," Andy responded, his gaze directed into the drawer as his hand closed around what he was looking for.

"Hurry up," she told him, her tone bordering on one of irritation "My flight leaves in less than an hour."

"Don't worry," Andy told her as he smirked to himself.

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She still couldn't place the voice and it bothered her. She knew she had heard this voice before, several times in fact. She wondered why anyone she knew would have anything to do with Andy. Could it be possible that Andy and this woman were working together? Olivia closed her eyes and tried to will the unseen woman's face to appear in her mind's eye. If someone at the 1-6 had aided Andy in kidnapping…

Her whole body tensed at the sound of not one but three gunshots 'Thank God, the cavalry is here,' she thought to herself. Her heart fell when she heard no new voices and she realized that the voices that had been there were now silent.

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Andy kicked the now lifeless body that lay in front of him as the blood pooled around it. He had to marvel at the fact that she had been able to react at all before he shot her. She had managed to pull her own gun but her aim was incredibly poor as the one shot that she got off ended up lodging in the wall beside him. He had shot her twice just for good measure.

He waited until the wounds seemed to have bled all they were going to and then carefully dragged the body out behind the cabin. He lay her on the ground and grabbed the shovel that he kept by the back door. The grave he dug was shallow at best but it served its purpose. He dumped her in and covered her up. When he had finished he spit on the grave "Good riddance bitch," he muttered before turning and heading back inside.

She had been such a little pain in the ass to work with. Andy had gotten truly frustrated with her several times. He had wanted to get rid of her for such a long time but he needed her, he hated to admit it but he did.

He pulled on fresh clothes and threw his blood stained ones into the wood burning stove. He was about to light a match but it was already so damn hot in the cabin that he didn't want to add to it. Besides they too would serve a purpose in his plan.

The murder could not have worked out better for him. He hadn't expected her to come to the cabin but now that she had he had someone's blood to show when those detectives came poking around and he knew they would. It would only be a matter of time before they realized where to look.

In truth, Andy had been hoping for a little more of a head start than he had gotten; that phone call from Elliot had been an unforeseeable glitch. But he knew that it wasn't all lost. When it came down to it, he still had Olivia and he was still a good five steps ahead of anyone who might be on his trail. Or so he thought.

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"Damn it," Elliot slammed his hand down on the dashboard. They had gotten stuck behind an accident on the highway while the Pennsylvania police went over the scene. Normally Elliot was sympathetic to other officers who had to process scenes in less than ideal conditions but right now he had nothing but anger towards them boiling up inside him. They were just an obstacle and he wished they were gone.

"This should clear up soon," Cragen said optimistically as he noticed officers heading back to their squad cars.

"Hmm," John began speculatively as he observed the scene in front of them. He was just about to shoot off one of his conspiracy theories when Elliot turned and shot him a look that told him very clearly that if that theory came out of his mouth, Elliot would make him eat it again.

Traffic began to move again slowly and Elliot sighed exhaustedly. In the time that they had spent in that traffic jam, Eckerson could have gotten a whole lot farther than his cabin in Virginia. Although any fears of him leaving the country were put to rest with a few calls to the Port Authority there were still other possibilities that weighed heavy on Elliot's heart.

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She heard the door open at the top of the stairs and she knew he was coming. Every muscle in her body tensed as her already sore wrists continued to rub themselves raw against her restraints. Her legs too kicked frantically to free themselves but she found herself getting no where as had been happening since he had first held her down.

He came into her line of vision carrying a glass of water. He sat down beside her on the cot and offered it to her. She tried to turn her head away but he didn't let her. Supporting her head, he slowly poured the water into her mouth. She spat it angrily back out at him.

"Wrong move," he told her as he smacked her across the face.

She winced from the pain but even after all she had been through she refused to give in "Go to hell you asshole," she countered.

"Oh," he said amused "I've been, it wasn't for me," he forced his lips to hers yet again "You on the other hand," he whispered as he pulled away "You'd fit in just fine," he laughed and rubbed his already hard erection into her.

"No," she whispered. Once had been painful enough, humiliating enough; she couldn't take it the first time she didn't want it to happen again.

Andy smiled vindictively down at her. She had always been such a terrible liar. All that posturing that she did in the interrogation room or on the streets, it had always been an act to cover up her true inner weakness. He was so pleased with himself that he had this beautiful creature all to himself "Oh yes," he pushed inside of her, hard.

"Andy don't," she managed around sobs of pure anguish. She thought that perhaps by using his name she might be able to make him stop somehow.

He leaned in close to her ear and whispered "Never," his icy tone froze her to the core "You're mine and I'll never stop," he continued to rape her, completely ignoring her screams.

When he was done he leaned in close again "Besides," he whispered "It's not like you don't think you deserve this," he kissed her and left her to think about what he had just said.

She had thought that she had no tears left to cry but she was wrong. She knew that the way she was brought into the world would inevitably be the way she left it. She didn't want to believe it; she had tried to tell herself that it wouldn't end that way but deep down she knew that it would. She really didn't want to die alone but she knew she couldn't stand it if he forced himself on her again. At that moment she wished she could just let go and drift away. She closed her eyes and resolved to stop fighting, it wasn't like it was doing her any good in the first place.

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Ruben walked up the stairs to Millie's apartment building; she hadn't shown up for work and he was worried. He rang the buzzer but there was no answer, he rang it again and again but the result was the same "C'mon Millie," he pounded the buzzer with his fist and held it down "You can't avoid me forever," he whispered to himself.

Suddenly the door opened and a young woman with a baby in her arms and a diaper bag slung over one shoulder ran right into Ruben, knocking him to the ground. He looked up, dazed into the face of the woman. For a moment he could have sworn that he was in heaven and that the woman was an angel.

"Oh my gosh," she said as she shifted the infant to her hip and reached her free hand down to Ruben to help him up. However when she did so, her hold on the diaper bag was lost and it toppled to the ground "Oh darn it," she muttered.

Ruben, who was now firmly back on his feet, bent down to retrieve the bag for her. He noticed that it was much fuller than one would expect for just one day's worth of supplies. He pushed the thought out of his mind and handed the bag to the woman "Here you go miss…" he trailed off not knowing the woman's name.

"My name's Maggie Read," she shook Ruben's hand "Sorry about earlier," she looked nervously behind her at the building "I'm in a hurry."

"No problem," Ruben smiled at her. He found himself staring at her. She was gorgeous; long chestnut hair framed an angelic heart shaped face and her green eyes had a haunting, mysterious beauty.

Maggie kept looking back nervously at the building "I… I have to go," she excused herself. She began walking hurriedly down the sidewalk and was almost around the corner of the block when the door to the building opened once more and Ruben was knocked over yet again.

"Maggie!" the man who had just emerged from the building screamed as he ran down the sidewalk after her.

Ruben picked himself up from the ground and followed; he had a bad feeling about this man. He turned the corner just in time to see the man slam Maggie into a brick wall. The diaper bag and the baby both went flying. Ruben was quick to catch the child.

The man pressed one arm against Maggie's throat as he punched her with his other fist "Bitch," he said over and over again as he did so.

"Hey, hey, hey," Ruben attempted to interfere while holding the child. He awkwardly managed to shield the child with one side of his body as he took out his badge and flashed it at the man "Police," he informed him. The man stopped immediately and stared at Ruben. After a minute he turned and ran back to the building.

"Are you alright?" Ruben asked as he handed the now crying baby back to Maggie.

"Yeah," she said weakly, taking the child into her arms and rocking her gently until she settled down.

Ruben picked up the diaper bag for the second time that morning and handed it to her; this time he managed to take a peak inside and noticed that it contained items that belonged to mother as well as things for baby "Who was that guy?" he asked as he walked with Maggie to a nearby bench and sat down beside her.

"It's a long story," she sighed heavily, holding her child close to her "Thank you," she said softly glancing quickly in Ruben's direction then just as quickly turning her attention to the ground.

"I have time," he reassured her as he reached over and ran a hand over the baby's soft brown hair "Who's this little one?"

"This is my daughter," Maggie smiled, thinking about the baby in her arms cheering her mood briefly "Her name is Daisy."

"Nice to meet you Daisy," Ruben said to the baby who smiled at him brightly, showing two teeth.

Maggie looked down at her watch "I really have to be going," she said quickly as she got off the bench and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Ruben called after her. He managed to catch up with her just as she hailed a cab "Can I help you? I mean that guy has he hurt you before? I work with people who can help you."

She smiled sadly at him "I don't think anyone can help me," she was about to get into the cab when Ruben pulled out one of his business cards and held it out to her.

"If you need anything," he told her.

She took the card and nodded. "Thanks," she called as she closed the cab door and it sped away.

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"What?" He stood frozen, disbelief the only emotion showing on his face "How can it be gone?" Ruben had finally figured out from a neighbor of Millie's that she hadn't been home all night. He had reported to work and finally set his mind to the tasks of the day only to have Captain Siper inform him that the evidence from Olivia Benson's apartment had been tampered with and that the US Marshal's badge was missing. Ruben knew that this was damaging to SVU's case.

Another tech entered and handed a video cassette to Siper who accepted it gratefully "We'll find out now how it happened," she said firmly. She walked to the nearby VCR and popped the tape in. She flipped on the screen and all those present found themselves staring at the evidence room.

A figure entered the room and approached a table where the Benson crime scene evidence had been laid out. The figure picked something up off of the table and turned to leave. Siper paused the tape and rewound it a few frames. She zoomed in on the face of the figure. The gasps were audible as Siper, Ruben and the others stared at an all too familiar face.

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It was noon when they finally reached the edge of the woods where Eckerson's cabin was; traffic had only gotten worse the closer they'd gotten. John held the map as the other's crowded around him. They stood beside the car, ready to get a move on.

"It looks like," Munch began, checking and double checking the map "There are two possible paths to the cabin through these trees.

"Okay," Cragen said, taking command of the situation as he took the map from Munch and looked at it "John, you and Fin take this trail here and Elliot," he turned to his other detective who stood clenching his fists to the point where his knuckles had turned bone white "You and I will take this one," he showed Elliot the trail on the map.

"Who gets the map?" Fin asked.

Munch smiled pulling out a rather large folded piece of paper from his pocket "We both do," he silently patted himself on the back for bringing the extra map.

"Let's head out," Cragen said as he and Elliot headed off in one direction. Munch and Fin silently nodded and headed for their own path.

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"This road is going no where," Munch complained after a half an hour of walking through the dense forest.

"Tell me about it," Fin ducked another low hanging tree branch "I think I've seen that same rock about ten times now."

"Look at this," Munch gestured to the woods around him.

Fin nodded "It looks like no one's used this path in years."

"It seems," Munch turned his gaze to the leaves high above his head "That we quite literally took the road less traveled." Even though in the poem it said that taking the road less traveled had made all the difference, Munch knew that this time, taking the road less traveled only left the team divided. "Let's head back," he suggested.

Fin agreed and they walked back the way they came. They would get back to the car and then start up the other trail. Rather than wander aimlessly in the forest they planned to meet up with Elliot and the Captain.

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"You've got to be kidding me," Elliot was exasperated. He and Cragen stood before a rope bridge that led over a deep ravine. The bridge seemed to be the only way across and Elliot was wondering just how much effort Eckerson had put into this.

"We're gonna have to get over that thing," Cragen told the younger man.

Elliot nodded and took a careful step onto the shaky bridge. It dipped beneath his weight but held. He began to walk across. Luckily his physical balance was impeccable; the police academy had trained him well. Soon he was across and it was Cragen's turn.

The older man took his first step onto the bridge with far more apprehension than Elliot had. Cragen was in his late fifties and had never expected to be doing this kind of thing ever. As he cautiously planted one foot firmly in front of the other he seriously contemplated retirement; he was too old to be doing this kind of thing. Granted his position as Captain had afforded him the luxury of a desk job. It seemed odd to him that at that moment he considered a desk job a luxury. He was almost to the other side when he felt the bridge dip a little further. 'Retirement,' he decided at that moment. The bridge continued to sag until the ropes finally broke away and Cragen fell to the bottom of the ravine.

Elliot stared at the spot where the Captain had been standing only moments before. The only thing that occupied the space now was empty air. He rushed to the side and looked over; it was a good twenty foot drop. He could see where Cragen had landed and lay motionless "Cap!" he called out, hoping for a response.

The figure on the ground sat up and rubbed its head. He tried to stand but found himself collapsing to the dirt once more "I think I sprained my ankle!" he called up to Elliot.

Elliot looked down into the ravine and then over his shoulder where through the trees he could clearly see the cabin. The right thing to do in this situation was to climb down to where Cragen was, help him back to the car and call the paramedics and then and only then, return with Munch and Fin to the cabin. Elliot through his head back in frustration; why was the right thing always so hard? "Stay there!" Elliot called down as he searched the rocks for hand holds "I'm coming to get you."

"No," Cragen told him firmly as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket "I can call for help just fine from here. You need to go find Olivia." Elliot nodded and headed towards the cabin.

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He took a slow sip of the beer in his hand as he relaxed in the armchair. You would never know by his laid back attitude that he had just killed and buried one woman and held another prisoner in his basement. He leaned forward and set the bottle on the coffee table. He glanced at the clock; by his estimation he didn't have to get moving for another two hours. He smiled to himself. He was shaken from his revelry when the cabin door suddenly swung off its hinges with a loud bang. Andy stood up from his chair and stared at the figure who now stood in the doorway.

Elliot stared angrily at Andy. He held his gun steady as he entered the cabin. It was at this point that he saw the large puddle of blood that Andy hadn't even bothered to clean up. "You bastard," he said in a low voice as he rushed Andy. He pinned him to the wall and held the gun pointed directly at his chest.

Andy's plan was disintegrating in front of him but he wasn't going to let that stop him; Elliot had seen the blood, Andy knew that his mind had already jumped to the conclusion that it was Olivia's. The plan might be shattered but he could at least make it so Elliot never found her. Andy found himself struggling for breath as he spoke "Are you gonna kill me?" he taunted "Do you want to get revenge for her?"

Elliot's hands were shaking "You're gonna pay," he spat venomously even as he found himself sinking into that miserable abyss. She couldn't be dead. If only they hadn't been caught in traffic so many times, if only… He stared at Andy coldly. He would make this man pay for what he had done.

"She begged," Andy continued, knowing that with every word he spoke Elliot was less and less able to hold his gun steady "I stabbed her again and again," he was making up a story now solely for the purpose of torturing Elliot "Each time I plunged the knife in, she screamed but oh that was nothing compared to the screams when I took it out again."

Elliot couldn't take it anymore. He cocked the hammer of his gun "Die!" he screamed at Andy.

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She heard voices upstairs but wasn't sure that they were there. In the heat she was sure she had become delirious. The voices grew louder and slowly she became convinced that she was indeed not losing her mind. One voice was Andy's and the other… was it… yes there was no mistaking that voice. She had to let him know where she was but she didn't think she had any strength left even for whispering. She took a deep breath; she had to try "Elliot!"

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He was about to pull the trigger when the sound reached his ears. There was no mistaking that voice; his heart skipped a beat every time he heard that voice call his name. He knew in a split second that Andy had been lying. He slammed Andy against the wall knocking him unconscious. Elliot let Andy's body fall hard to the floor; he had more important things to think about now. He put his gun back in his holster and went in search of the source of the voice.

"Olivia!" he called as he walked around the small cabin. He waited for a response. The seconds ticked by so slowly before he heard it. It sounded significantly weaker than it had the first time. "Keep talking!" he called to her as he searched for her.

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She wasn't sure she had the energy to keep talking to him; she was feeling weaker by the second now. She took another deep breath "Basement!" she called out.

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At that precise moment Elliot found the door at the top of the basement stairs and opened it. He walked down the stairs with his heart in his throat. Then he saw her, in the limited light that came through the small windows of the basement he saw her. He was caught between relief and sorrow at the sight "Oh God," he whispered as he rushed to her side, throwing his coat over her to preserve her dignity "I'm so sorry," he told her as he started untying the ropes that held her wrists.

She felt tears running down her cheeks. She was so glad that he was there with her; in many ways he was the only person she felt like she could trust anymore. Fear shined in her eyes as a thought suddenly struck her "Andy," she whispered.

Elliot fought his own tears as he worked to free her "He's not going anywhere," he reassured her.

"He…" Olivia began "He killed someone."

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Andy opened his eyes and looked at the clock; he had only been unconscious a few minutes. He stood up and looked around. Soft voices coming from the basement let him know that that's where Elliot was and that he had found her. For a moment Andy considered grabbing his gun and just finishing the both of them off right then and there but he knew that the cabin would almost certainly be swarming with more cops in just a matter of minutes. He decided to make a break for it. There would always be time later to return an claim what was rightfully his. He ran off into the woods, taking nothing with him except his gun.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4: You're Here

**In My Life**

**Chapter 4: You're Here**

He walked into her hospital room and sat by the bed. He had just gotten off the phone with Munch who had informed him that they had found a shallow grave behind the cabin. He knew he had to tell Olivia about it but she had so much to deal with right now. He could barely look her in the eye after they had emerged from the basement to find that Andy was gone. He had been cursing himself ever since. Why hadn't he just thought to cuff Andy to something?

She had been staring out the window until she heard his footsteps. She turned to see him take a seat beside her and she managed a faint smile at seeing him again. The hospital felt so God damned lonely. Granted it was better than the basement of Andy's cabin though she still felt like the loneliness could crush her at any moment. She opened her mouth and quietly forced the word "Hey," from her lips. She hadn't felt much like talking and as soon as she had uttered that single syllable, she fell silent once more, shifting her gaze away from him and back towards the window.

Elliot cleared his throat "Half the state of Virginia is looking for him Liv. He won't hurt you ever again," Elliot knew that these words were little comfort. The plain, sickening truth was that Andy had already hurt her. He reached a hand out tentatively in her direction "Did they do a rape kit yet?" he asked as his hand covered hers where it lay limp in her lap.

"No," she whispered, shutting her eyes and bracing herself against the words she was going to say next "And I can't let them," Andy's semen wasn't the only DNA sample inside her. She would have to tell whoever ended up investigating her case, that she had been intimate with another man only hours before the rape. There was no guarantee that that information would be kept private. If it somehow leaked to internal affairs, Elliot's career would be put in danger. She was fairly sure that hers was more than likely over.

"Liv," Elliot began but she held up a hand to silence his protests.

"Elliot, I can't. I'm not going to get you in trouble over this," she put her hand back down in her lap "I'm not gonna turn what was a beautiful moment between two people into some tawdry, sorted media frenzy. IAB would tear us both apart, you know that," she had been giving this a lot of thought while he had been on the phone "They'll pin Andy for the kidnapping. That'll be enough."

"Olivia," Elliot sighed heavily "Don't, don't fall on your sword for me."

"I'm not," she told him, still refusing to look at him.

"Let them do the kit Liv," he whispered "You can't let him get away with doing this to you. Let them know that we had sex and don't ever look back. What's the worst IAB can do?" he knew the worst that IAB could do. Split them up as partners, definitely. Bust them back down to beat cops, it was a possibility but Elliot was prepared to say that it had all been his idea. Getting kicked off the force, worst case scenario, Elliot knew that he wouldn't let that happen to Olivia. He would fall on his sword for her. This job was her life and he wasn't going to let her lose that.

"I can't do it Elliot," Olivia stared at her lap as tears began to brim in her eyes "I won't do that to you. Your credibility will be ruined."

"Don't think about me," he told her "Don't think about the job or about what might happen if anyone finds out that we had sex," he took a deep breath "Think of yourself for once. Let them do the kit."

Olivia finally looked him in the eye as she told him as sternly as she could "No," she tore her gaze from him and continued to stare out the window. Every once in a while, her hand would drift up her arm to where the IV needle was pumping fluids into her to combat the dehydration that she had suffered in the heat of the basement. As soon as the IV was out of her arm, she knew that she would be out of the hospital. Let Andy try and come after her. She suddenly didn't care.

"Liv," Elliot tried again.

"Elliot," she silenced him by holding her hand up again "Just stop, okay?" as if it wasn't hard for her to say that she wasn't going to have a rape kit done. She knew that it would most likely come back to haunt her when they brought Andy to trial but there was no way that she could sacrifice Elliot's career no matter how much he said it didn't bother him. They sat in silence for a long time before Olivia spoke again "Did they ever find that woman that Andy killed?" she had begun to think she was going insane when she heard those gunshots. Even though she had seen all the blood in the main room of the cabin, on some level she needed to know that the woman had existed so that she knew she hadn't lost her mind.

Elliot cleared his throat "Um… Yeah. They found a freshly dug shallow grave behind the cabin."

"Do you know who she was?" Olivia asked. She still had the feeling that the woman wasn't a complete stranger to her. She had a suspicion that Andy had had help from the inside.

Elliot cleared his throat again. This was uncomfortable. It wouldn't be easy to tell her this. He took another deep breath and cleared his throat again "It was Millie," he said finally.

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Daisy crawled around on the pillows of the motel bed as Maggie watched her like a hawk. Maggie Read marveled at how carefree her little girl was. Daisy was almost always smiling. Brad never even paid attention to his own child and while it sounded horrible, it was truly a blessing. Maggie had been Brad's favorite punching bag and he had never laid a hand on Daisy. Daisy stopped her exploring and sat on the bed.

Maggie pulled the ten month old into her lap "I'm so sorry about all of this baby," she told her "I should have gotten away from him months ago." Daisy simply cooed and wrapped the fingers of her tiny hand around her mother's finger. She flashed that innocent smile and Maggie couldn't help but smile back "I love you so much," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to Daisy's forehead.

Maggie reached into her pocket and took out the card that Ruben had given her "What do you think Daisy?" she asked "Do you think its time that I ask for help?"

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"Thanks Fin," Casey said into her cell phone after Fin had filled her in about their having found Olivia. Casey was relieved to hear that Olivia was safe. She hadn't pressed for details other than that Olivia was physically fine. She wasn't ready to deal with the rest of it. She hung up her phone and headed towards her car; she was late for work and she was hung over. In her hurry, she didn't notice that her purse had fallen to the ground.

"Hey," someone called out to her "Excuse me," the person ran to catch up with her "Miss?" the man ran right into her.

"What the hell is your problem?" Casey said angrily as she turned to face the man who had almost knocked her off her feet. She had one hell of a splitting headache and didn't want to deal with anyone right now.

The man with strawberry blond hair and blue eyes smiled apologetically "Sorry," he said as he held the purse out to her "You dropped this."

"Oh," Casey's tone changed significantly as she felt the blush creep across her cheeks "Thanks," she tried to smile but was still paralyzed with embarrassment "Um… sorry about that. I… my day just isn't off to a good start."

"Don't worry about it," the man smiled understandingly "In this city, if a stranger starts chasing after you, you have to be careful."

"Yeah," Casey agreed. She unlocked the door of her car and slid in. As she turned the keys in the ignition she called out "Thanks again…"

"Noah," the man who Casey had to admit was good looking, called out "Noah Gabriel."

"Casey Novak," Casey called out the window "It was nice to meet you Noah," she caught a glimpse of her watch and realized that she was now incredibly late for work "Bye," she called as she sped away.

"It was nice to meet you too Casey," Noah said as he watched her drive away. He couldn't help wondering if he would ever run into her again.

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"Maybe you can talk some sense into her," Elliot was saying as he moved out of the door of Olivia's room to let someone pass "She's not listening to me."

Cragen hobbled in on his crutches and Olivia's eyes widened. She hadn't really seen anyone but Elliot and the doctors and nurses in the hospital since she had gotten out of that basement "What happened?" she asked, her tone full of compassion.

"I got into a fight with a bridge," Cragen said dryly as he took a seat beside Olivia's bed, setting his crutches down beside him "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," Olivia shot Elliot an angry look. Just how much had he told Cragen? Did he drag the injured captain into her room to coerce her into having a rape kit done? She turned her face from both men and began to closely reexamine the now all too familiar scenery outside of the window.

Cragen cleared his throat, the topic was uncomfortable for him. He like all his detectives had dealt with many victims but it had never been so close to home and the circumstances had never been so far reaching "I think you should have the rape kit done," he told her.

"You do know you can't order me to have it done," she shot back. She still glared at Elliot as he tried to shrink into the corner. She felt betrayed by this latest move of his. How dare he tell Cragen anything?

Cragen cleared his throat again "I know that," he said as he shifted positions in the chair. He was starting to wish he was still lying at the bottom of that ravine "What I'm trying to say is that… if there's any reason you don't want to have it done that has to do with your job or someone else's-"

"Oh God," Olivia wished she wasn't hooked up to the IV so she could jump out of the bed and strangle Elliot "What did you tell him?"

"The truth," Elliot responded softly as he took a step closer to the bed and took a seat on the edge of it. He reached out to Olivia but she pulled back from him almost instantly. He withdrew his hand "What happens if the kidnapping charges fall through?" he asked, knowing full well that Andy Eckerson probably had access to a lawyer who could do just that "He could go free and hurt someone else."

"He's not gonna go after anyone else," Olivia whispered as she hid her face "He only wants me."

Cragen took this moment to rise from his chair and make his way slowly to the door "Um… I'll be outside if you need me," he said awkwardly, not wanting to intrude on this intimate moment.

Elliot moved closer to Olivia and reached out to her again "Liv, it's just me here," he reassured her and she let him wrap his arms gently around her. He ran a hand through her hair as he told her "He won't get another chance to hurt you. Please have the rape kit done. You and I both know that the longer you wait, the evidence is just disappearing."

Olivia nodded "You know you're a stubborn jackass," she said into his shirt as she let tears fall.

"I've heard that," he chuckled a little "I've also been called a son-of-a-bitch, an asshole, a-"

"I get the point," Olivia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she pulled away to look at him "Will you stay with me… when they do it?" she asked timidly.

Elliot smiled and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze "Of course."

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"She played me," Ruben sat at a bar, staring into the depths of a diet coke. He had cared for Millie, he really had and she had turned around and betrayed the entire NYPD. He had been right not to trust her the previous night. She had probably been planning to just take the badge and never enter it into evidence in the first place. Now at least they knew that the badge existed although that did them very little good. The case was crumbling underneath their feet.

"She had us all fooled," Captain Siper told Ruben. She had taken the young man out to the bar for lunch to talk because he looked like he needed to vent his emotions on someone. So far the only emotion she had gotten out of him was despondency.

"I loved her," he whispered as he lifted his glass and took a long sip of the soda.

"You'll get through this," Siper said encouragingly "It may not seem like it now but you will."

Ruben was about to say something when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open "Morales," he answered.

"Hi," he recognized the voice instantly. It was Maggie, the woman from earlier that morning. She sounded afraid "You may not remember me but we met this morning."

"Maggie," Ruben said gently "What's wrong?"

"It's Brad," she whispered "My boyfriend, he's coming after me. I saw him downstairs and-"

"Where are you?" Ruben asked as he stood up from his seat "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"The Lydia motel," she answered quickly. Suddenly there was a crash "Please hurry?" she begged before the phone went dead.

Ruben was out of the bar in a flash with Siper hot on his heals "What was that about?" she asked as Ruben hailed a cab.

Ruben opened the door and slid in as he answered her "This girl I met this morning. She was running away from her abusive boyfriend. She's at the Lydia and he found her," he was speaking at lightening fast speed. He turned to the driver "Lydia motel please."

The cab sped off, leaving Siper standing on the sidewalk, trying to figure out what Ruben had just said. When she finally made sense of the jumble of words he had just sputtered, she pulled out her cell phone.

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Casey groaned and rubbed her temples. She still had that God awful headache and was not in the mood to prosecute any cases. Lucky for her that wasn't what she had to do. No, even worse, she had to discuss the terms of a deal with a guy who had been caught exposing himself in Central Park. She groaned again, looking across the table at Ryan Williams "Where is your lawyer?" she asked irritably.

Williams shifted uncomfortably "I don't know," he answered in a timid voice.

The door opened and Casey prepared to deliver all her rage onto the tardy attorney when her jaw dropped "What are you doing here?" she asked in pure surprise.

"Sorry I'm late, I…" Noah Gabriel stopped talking as soon as his eyes landed on Casey "I guess I could ask you the same question," he stood stunned.

"Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak," she extended her hand "And you must be Mr. Williams' lawyer."

"I must be… I mean… I am," Noah replied, stunned.

Williams watched the scene that played out in front of him "Can I just go to jail now?" he asked.

Casey and Noah stared at each other for a long time, neither of them saying a word until Casey finally spoke up "Um… we should get started."

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Ruben ran into the run down motel and up to the desk clerk. After what seemed like an eternity of trying to get a straight answer from him about whether he had rented a room to a woman with a baby, he finally learned the room number and ran up the stairs. When he reached the room, the door was already open. His heart began to pound even faster "Maggie!" he called out as he stepped into the room. The place looked like it had been trashed "Maggie!" he called again. All of a sudden he heard something. He fell completely silent and listened. He followed the sound to the closet. He pulled the door open and there on the floor of the closet, he saw Daisy, half hidden by the diaper bag.

He picked the baby up and rocked her gently "Shhh," he whispered "It's gonna be okay," he held the baby close to him as he bent to pick up the diaper bag. He stood up and turned around to see Siper standing in the doorway, along with two officers that he recognized but not by name.

"Morales," Siper said sternly "Do you mind explaining what you're doing with a baby?"

"This is Maggie's daughter," Ruben told her "She must have hid her in the closet and let her boyfriend find her in hopes that he wouldn't go after the baby."

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"You didn't tell me you were a defense attorney," Casey said as she reached for her glass. She didn't want a repeat of the night before so for the moment she was sticking to water. She had agreed to go with Noah to a little café for a little afternoon snack and she had to admit, she was enjoying his company.

"I barely had a chance to tell you my name," Noah laughed "You were in such a hurry this morning."

"Sorry about that," Casey said softly "I just had a really rough night. I didn't really get a lot of sleep."

"Tough case coming up in court?" he asked.

"If there was," she reprimanded "I don't think it would be prudent to be discussing it with you," she sighed "It's complicated."

"I've been told I'm a good listener," Noah playfully initiated a game of footsy under the table but Casey didn't really join in.

"My boyfriend kind of broke up with me last night over the phone," she began. She had no idea why she was telling all of this to the man who sat across from her but for some reason she felt like she could confide in him "So I got really wasted to try and forget it all."

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"Munch, Fin and Cragen are heading back to Manhattan," Elliot said as he sat down once again in what had become his chair. He handed Olivia the cup of coffee that he had snuck in for her.

"Ah," she exclaimed as she took the cup from his outstretched hand "Liquid salvation," she took a sip and looked up "Why aren't you going with them?" she asked. She didn't want him to leave but she was perfectly capable of getting back to Manhattan on her own once she was released. The thing was that no matter how much she needed him, the city of New York probably needed him a whole lot more.

"I wasn't gonna leave you all alone out here," he told her. He shifted positions in the chair and took a swig of his own coffee "Speaking of which," he began "When are the doctors thinking about springing you?"

"They say my blood work looks fine," she informed him "But they just want to keep me overnight for observation because of this," she touched a hand to the head wound which was now more professionally bandaged.

"Tomorrow," he smiled "The guys took the car so we sort of have to take the bus."

"That's fine with me," Olivia said as she began to pick at the tape that held her IV in place. It was unbelievably itchy. She thought of something and wasn't sure she should bring it up but when the conversation died down and the silence became unbearable, she finally asked "Elliot?"

"Yeah?" he responded in a drowsy tone; he was starting to nod off in the chair.

"Did you mean what you said on that message or…?" she trailed off, afraid to finish the question. When she glanced over at Elliot, she realized that even if she had had the courage to finish the question, he wouldn't have been able to answer it. Elliot had fallen into what appeared to be a deep sleep in what appeared to be a very uncomfortable position. Olivia smiled and sat back against her pillows. She didn't think she would really be able to get any sleep but it was nice to have Elliot there.

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Ruben had refused to hand Daisy over to anyone. His fellow CSU techs had searched the room for evidence and found alarming results. Of course, because it was a hotel room, the semen and blood could have belonged to anyone. Or at least that's what Ruben kept telling himself.

Siper had called Captain Cragen and informed him that SVU had one heck of a case to deal with and Cragen had said that he and two of his detectives would be back in the city as soon as they could. Ruben trusted the SVU detectives and knew that they would find Maggie or at least find her boyfriend and bring him to justice but he was still afraid. He had only known Maggie for a brief time but he had felt a connection with her instantly. He hoped that wherever she was, she was okay.

Daisy began to cry and Ruben fished around in the diaper bag until he found a jar of baby food "I hope you like…" he looked at the label "Mashed carrots," Ruben made a face and Daisy giggled up at him. He bounced the little girl on his knee "So are you hungry?" he asked the child, fully aware that she couldn't answer him in words. In response, Daisy reached for the jar of food in Ruben's hand. He took this as a yes and found a spoon with which to feed his new little friend.

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"I just don't know what I'm gonna say to her," Casey admitted "I feel like I failed her somehow."

"You didn't," Noah reassured her as he walked with her back to her apartment building "You had a hard day and needed to unwind. You had no idea that something like that was going to happen."

"I still can't help feeling guilty you know," Casey whispered as they reached the door of her building.

"Nobody blames you for something that some creep did," Noah told her firmly as he placed a hand under her chin and moved her face so her eyes met his "You didn't know. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Casey smiled faintly "You're sweet," and before she knew it, she was kissing him. The kiss didn't last any longer than one, maybe two seconds but it was, in Casey's opinion, a very enjoyable kiss. She pulled away and all of a sudden felt very sheepish "I'm sorry," she sputtered "I mean… I'm not sorry if you aren't… I mean… Oh-" he cut her off by pulling her back to him and kissing her much deeper this time.

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"I met her this morning," Ruben was giving his statement to John Munch "I ran into her and her boyfriend was chasing her and I told him who I was so he backed off and then she got into a cab and-"

"Hey," Munch said soothingly "Take it easy," he indicated the baby that Ruben still held "You don't want to upset her. Babies are very sensitive to the emotions of the people around them."

"Right," Ruben said quickly "Sorry."

"Not a problem," Munch reassured "Now can you give a description of the boyfriend to a sketch artist?"

"Yeah," Ruben nodded "I can do that."

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Elliot's eyes opened slowly. It was dark in the hospital room. He stretched, cursing himself for falling asleep in a chair like that. He looked to the bed. It may have been dark but it was easy to see that the bed was empty. He was on his feet in a moment "Olivia!" he called out.

"What?" came the response as the door to the bathroom opened and Olivia stepped out.

"Oh thank God," Elliot whispered as he took a step towards her in the darkness "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just had to go to the bathroom," she told him. She had to admit that after what she had been through, she was very much on edge but she hadn't expected Elliot to be as well "Are you all right?" she asked as she walked back to the bed. The nurse had taken the IV out after Elliot had fallen asleep and Olivia had been enjoying the new freedom of movement.

"I just," Elliot began then realized that there was nothing he could say that could excuse his behavior "I was worried," he whispered.

"I'm fine," Olivia pulled the covers over herself "You're here."


	5. Chapter 5: Keeping Tabs

**In My Life**

**Chapter 5: Keeping Tabs**

**A/N: So, yeah… it's been a while since I've written a chapter for this story. Well, I had this chapter started already and I decided to finish it. I figured, this is one of my better stories and I shouldn't just abandon it. I hope you guys like this new chapter. And as always, please take the time to leave me a review.**

Captain Siper knocked on the door of her own office and opened it to see Ruben rocking Daisy to sleep and singing softly to her. She walked closer to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up at her questioningly. She cleared her throat softly "The ACS case worker is here for Daisy," she told him.

Ruben sighed and looked at the baby in his arms "Do we really have to hand her over to the foster care system?" he asked.

Siper sighed and took a seat across from Ruben "They'll take care of her until we can find her mother," she told him.

"I don't trust them," he whispered as his grip tightened on the child in his arms.

"Ruben," Siper began "You have a job to do. You can't haul an infant to crime scenes with you. You have to do what's best for her."

"What would have been best for her is if I had insisted that Maggie come to the precinct with me this morning," Ruben looked down at Daisy's peacefully sleeping form "If I had just…"

"Hey," Siper broke in "You couldn't have prevented this; don't blame yourself," she stood up "Now come on, the case worker is waiting."

Ruben pressed a gentle kiss to Daisy's head and stood up. He walked slowly out of the office and up to the bubbly blonde woman who was waiting patiently for the baby. He handed Daisy to the woman and took the diaper bag from his shoulder "These are her things," he said softly.

"We'll take good care of her," the young blonde said in a perky tone.

Ruben rubbed his hand on Daisy's shoulder and smiled "Bye kiddo," he whispered.

Daisy began to stir. She opened her sleep filled eyes and realized that she was being held by unfamiliar arms. She let out with a cry that made everyone in the vicinity jump.

"Shhhh," the now shaken case worker attempted to soothe the child "It's okay," she whispered "Shhhh," but Daisy refused to be silent.

"Here," Ruben offered, holding his arms out "Let me take her."

"No it's okay," the blonde looked up at him "I've got her," she continued in her futile attempts to calm Daisy down. The baby tried to squirm out of the case worker's arms. She reached for Ruben as she kicked at and bit and screamed. Finally it became too much for the woman. She handed Daisy to Ruben "I can't handle this," she said in a frustrated tone. She turned and began to walk away "They're just gonna have to send someone else," she muttered.

Ruben watched the woman leave. He looked down at Daisy "I guess you're staying with me," he told her and she smiled at him.

Siper came up beside him "What was that all about?" she asked.

"I think," he murmured "I think that she wants to stay with me."

"You can't take care of a baby," Siper protested.

"I owe it to Maggie," Ruben said as he faced her "I owe it to her to make sure her child doesn't fall through the cracks."

"This isn't a good idea, you don't even have a place for her to sleep," Siper told him.

"I'm gonna take care of this baby," Ruben told her firmly. He turned and walked out of the room, holding Daisy close "As of this moment, I'm on vacation."

Siper stood stunned "Good luck," she muttered. She went into her office and called ACS. She pulled a few strings. Ruben could take care of the baby for the night but in the morning, he would have to face reality.

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"You should get some sleep," Elliot told Olivia when he caught her watching him from the hospital bed. She lay on her side, facing him, with her right elbow supporting her head.

"I'm not tired," she lied.

"Liar," he teased then became serious again "He can't get in here Olivia. He'd be stupid to come here."

"I know," she sighed "I just…" she couldn't find the words to vocalize how she felt.

"Just close your eyes," Elliot told her softly "You should get some sleep."

"I'm not tired," she lied again, even though she knew it was useless.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"I've talked," she murmured, rolling onto her side to face him in the relative darkness "Talking hasn't been helping."

"Wanna talk about something to take your mind off of it?" he suggested.

"Take my mind off of it?" she asked incredulously, pulling herself into a seated position "You think there's going to be something you could say to me that would take my mind off the fact that I was just raped and held captive by an insane man who probably isn't going to give up?" she was almost shouting now "Do you think you can get me to forget that I'm scared to death of him?"

Elliot got up and took a seat on the bed beside her. He reached a gentle hand out to her "They'll find him," he said in a firm but gentle tone "His picture is all over the news."

"That's reassuring," Olivia murmured sarcastically "He's smart Elliot. He'll find a way."

"He's not smarter than us," he told her "You've got to believe me Olivia. I'm not gonna let him get close enough again."

Olivia buried her face in his chest "I don't like this," she admitted "I don't like feeling scared like this."

He rubbed small circles on her back "I know," he told her "But we'll get through this together."

"Thank you," she whispered "I'm glad you're here."

He just held her for a long time. After a while, he became aware of the fact that her breathing had evened out; she was asleep. He gently lay her on the bed and pulled the blankets over her "I love you," he whispered as he took his seat next to the bed again and kept watch over her.

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Casey sat on her couch, staring at the bottle in her hand. God she had screwed up. She tossed the full bottle into the trash and lay down on the couch. At least Olivia was safe now. But Eckerson was still out there. Casey was resolute that she would not fail her friends again.

She reached for the remote and flipped on the TV. She flipped aimlessly through channel after channel, not really seeing the images that flashed across her screen. She repeatedly passed by every channel, stopping only momentarily at random intervals. She fell asleep like that.

She awoke a few hours later to find the TV still on. She had paused on a local news station. They were reporting on a very familiar subject. Casey sat up immediately "Shit," she murmured. She turned up the volume and grabbed her cell phone.

"Authorities are searching for US Marshal Andy Eckerson in connection with the kidnapping and sexual assault of a detective from the NYPD's Manhattan Special Victims Unit," the perky female reporter with her perfectly groomed blonde hair dancing in the breeze began.

Casey scowled as she flipped the phone open. The reporter was standing outside the very same Virginia hospital where Olivia was. At least the bimbo hadn't mentioned Olivia by name but it was clear that this particular media maven was out to further her own career by getting an interview with a SVU detective turned special victim.

Casey gritted her teeth as she dialed and waited as the phone rang. Someone was going to pay dearly for this. Casey would make sure of that.

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"What in the hell is going on out there?" Elliot murmured, looking out the window at the crowd gathering below. Olivia was still sleeping and he was determined not to wake her.

A nurse entered moments later "There's a reporter here to see you Detective Stabler," she reported in a shy voice.

Elliot's head shot up "Reporter?" he questioned angrily. Nothing about that seemed right at all.

A blond woman, holding a notepad in her hands pushed past the nurse. She smiled brightly "Andrea Allison, channel ten news," she greeted, extending her hand.

Olivia's eyes opened and she shot up in bed. She stared blankly from Elliot to the flustered nurse to the perky and persistent reporter "What the hell is going on?" she threw the harshly worded question in Elliot's direction.

"I wish I knew," Elliot shrugged. He turned to the nurse "Please call hospital security and have her throw out of here?" he requested as politely as was possible.

"Wait," Andrea Allison held up her hand "I just have a few questions for you and your partner."

"Who told you where you could find me?" Olivia asked, bitterly, glaring at the woman.

Andrea Allison showed no fear "My source has a right to remain anonymous," she said evenly.

Elliot stepped forward and stood toe to toe with the annoying, so called journalist "Go find someone else to be your lead story on the news," he said in a dangerous tone.

"It's too late for that," the blond countered "Channel ten has sent practically every camera crew to cover this story."

"Get out," Olivia told Andrea Allison. "I have a right to privacy."

Andrea Allison refused to budge. She locked eyes with Olivia "So, Detective Benson, I understand that Andy Eckerson is an ex-boyfriend of yours."

"Get out now," Elliot hissed warningly.

Andrea Allison refused to budge until two police officers appeared in the door and removed her by force. They weren't hospital security but rather actual Virginia cops. Elliot turned to Olivia and sighed heavily.

"How did they know?" Olivia murmured fearfully. If the media was reporting that she was here, it was only a matter of time before Andy found out.

"I don't know," Elliot said, staring daggers at the flustered and noticeably upset nurse. "But I'm not gonna let them get away with this," it was a violation of human decency to force one's way into a rape victim's room with the intent of conducting an interview simply to rangle higher ratings.

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"We are on total media lockdown!" Casey yelled as she strode into the squad room "Our number one priority is finding out who gave this information to channel ten."

"Their shipping what's her face to us so we can question her," Fin said, not bothering to look up at Casey.

"She'll talk," Munch said, making an attempt to crack his knuckles which elicited a giggle from Casey.

Cragen hobbled in on his crutches "Olivia's getting released from the hospital," he informed them "She and Elliot are going to check into a hotel and lay low until we've got this thing sorted out."

"That's probably a good idea," Casey sighed. It wasn't just the media that was bothering her. Eckerson was still out there and a hotel was probably the best place for Olivia to hide from him in case he came after her again.

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"You can't keep her," Captain Siper tried to explain to Ruben "She's not your child."

"She calms down when I hold her. She reaches for me when I come into a room. She cries when I leave," Ruben said "She might as well be my own baby."

"Listen," Siper began, trying to make Ruben see the error of his ways "Your girlfriend just left you. Maybe you're over compensating with the baby of a strange woman you met only yesterday."

Ruben looked up at his CO "I am not overcompensating," he countered firmly.

"Are you sure?" Siper asked "Think about this long and hard Morales," she instructed in a no nonsense tone "This is a human being here, it's not just some stuffed animal that you can crawl into bed next to and hug while you cry."

Ruben scowled "I am committed to doing what's best for this child," he said resolutely "Her mother's missing, her father could care less about her existence and is also nowhere to be found. I'm all she's got. I am not going to hand her over to a foster care system that has better things to do than worry about the fate of one little baby." He stood up and opened the door of his apartment, motioning for Siper to leave. "I appreciate your concern," his tone conveyed that he did not appreciate anything about her visit "But you can go now."

Siper nodded and stood up "I hope you know what you're doing," she said as way of goodbye as she exited.

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Olivia pulled back the curtain of the hotel room's window just an inch or so and peered out into the parking lot two stories below. The lot was all but empty. Only three cars sat at the end closest to the door of the hotel. There were no signs of any reporters. Olivia stared out the window and wondered if Andy had gone to the hospital to look for her. She allowed the curtain to fall closed before opening it again a few seconds later.

"He won't find you, Liv," Elliot assured, moving so that he was standing just behind her and placing a hand on her shoulder "You're safe."

Olivia wished she could believe that. She always felt safe with Elliot but somehow, the shadow of Andy Eckerson seemed to be hanging over them and she found it hard to let herself lapse into a sense of security. Still, she feigned belief in her partner's statement with two small words "I know."

"Are you hungry?" Elliot asked, perusing the room serves menu.

Olivia nodded slightly "A little," she admitted, turning away from the window for the first time in over an hour. She reached out and snatched the menu from Elliot's hands.

"Hey," he protested "I was reading that."

"Tough," Olivia retorted, the ghost of a smile gracing her lips "I'm reading it now. You can have it back when I'm done."

Elliot grumbled something before tossing a pillow from the bed at Olivia. Olivia caught the pillow in one hand and actually laughed before throwing it back at Elliot and continuing to read the menu. It felt good to still be able to goof around, if even for a brief moment in time. It made her feel, normal.

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Janet O'Hanlon stepped out into the alley behind the diner she worked at for a smoke break. She lit her cigarette and took a deep drag. She knew it was a filthy habit and that she should probably quit but she just couldn't be bothered with being separated from her vice for more than a few hours.

She flicked a collecting cluster of ashes of the tip and took yet another long drag. Suddenly, her smoke break was interrupted when she noticed someone running through the Alley. The young woman was naked and covered in blood and bruises. She was screaming for help.

Janet dropped her cigarette to the ground immediately and stamped it out. She ran towards the young woman, whipping out her cell phone as she moved. "It's okay," she said in a reassuring whisper to the sobbing woman "It's okay. You're gonna be okay."

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Ruben set Daisy in the highchair that his sister had let him have and opened a jar of carrot puree. He dipped a spoon in and held it out to Daisy. The baby willingly opened her mouth and consumed the proffered lunch.

Ruben stuck the spoon back in the jar when he heard a knock at his door. He groaned and set the jar on the table. He rose and walked to the door, peering through the peephole to see Captain Siper standing there, waiting.

He opened the door and forced a smile "I hope you're not here to try to get me to hand Daisy over to ACS," he greeted.

"That's not why I'm here Ruben," Siper said, softly. She took a deep breath "I just wanted to let you know, they found Maggie."

"Is she alive?" Ruben asked, desperate for more information.

"Yes," Siper replied, her eyes lowering to focus on Ruben's shoes "But it's pretty bad. He worked her over."

"Did they find the bastard?" Ruben asked, gritting his teeth.

"No," was all Siper could say.

Ruben walked back into the apartment and lifted Daisy from the highchair. He held her close and began rocking her gently, more for his own comfort than hers.

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After Elliot and Olivia had eaten they settled down to see what was on TV. There was nothing good. So Elliot turned off the TV and turned to face the woman he loved. They sat in silence for a long time, neither of them knowing quite what to say.

"Nice hotel, huh," Elliot finally said with a bit of a chuckle.

"It's alright," Olivia returned.

Elliot wrapped an arm around Olivia's shoulder "You wanna rent a movie?" he asked.

She grinned at him "Maybe later," she replied. She looked down at her lap. "Thank you," she said finally.

"You're welcome," Elliot smiled faintly "What are you welcome for?" he asked sheepishly.

"For being so protective," she replied "For staying with me and somehow at the same time letting me have the space and time I need to think. I'm so glad you're here."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he told her honestly daring to brush the hair back from her forehead and kiss her tenderly.

She didn't shy away. She leaned into his embrace "Could you, could you just hold me?" she asked in a timid whisper.

"Of course I can," Elliot replied, wrapping both his arms around her and pulling her close. They sat in silence for a long time, knowing that this is what they both needed right now.

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"I have rights you know," Andrea Allison shot across the table at Fin who had his arms folded across his chest and was watching her silently.

"You don't seem to care about other people's rights," Fin shot back "Why should I give a damn about yours?"

"I want a lawyer," the blond reporter demanded.

"You're not under arrest," Fin countered "We're just talking here."

"It feels more like an interrogation to me," Andrea Allison sat back in her chair, twirling a piece of her blond hair around one of her fingers.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Fin said in a tone that implied the opposite of what he had said. "Now, who told you where you could find Detective Benson."

"An anonymous tip," she replied.

"You usually mobilize three camera crews on an anonymous tip?" Fin asked, skeptically.

"That wasn't my idea," Andrea Allison defended "I was just going to go talk to her, ask a few questions. I was never going to use her name or anything. My boss caught wind of my scoop and went totally overboard. I didn't mean for it to get this out of hand."

There was a knock on the door. Fin stood up and turned, walking out of the room. "She's hiding something," he told Cragen.

"That might be," Casey said regretfully "But we've got no reason to hold her. There's the trespassing charge in Virginia but that's out of our jurisdiction. Virginia PD only let us have her as a courtesy. Cut her loose, she's got a long drive ahead of her if she's gonna make it to her arraignment on time."

Munch sauntered over to the group "TARU traced the call that she received. It came from some crap hole diner ten blocks from the hospital. Cops there showed Eckerson's picture to the employees there. They confirmed that he was in there around the time the call was made."

The group shared a disturbed look "He's keeping tabs on her," Cragen said for all of them.


End file.
